2 Reasons That Thing Isn't Getting Done
If you have something that you really want to get done…
But it is not getting done…
There are two really common reasons why.
Reason 1: You have a Should-based why, not a Want-based why.
Why do you want to do this thing?
If your reason for doing it is based on a Should…
If it’s something like, “I have to do this. I’m supposed to do this. Everyone does this”…
Then it’s likely not generating enough motivation to actually get it done.
When it comes time to actually sit down and DO the thing…
Should-based why’s just aren’t that compelling!
Having a Want-based why means that you have a reason for doing it that’s compelling to YOU.
Not because you’re supposed to. Not because everyone else is doing it. Not to measure up to some external standard of success or perfection or “having your shit together.”
You’re doing it because YOU enjoy it, or because it ties to YOUR values, or to a larger purpose YOU inherently believe in.
When it comes time to sit down and actually do the work…
A Want-based why is WAY more compelling than a Should-based why.
Reason 2: You’ve put yourself into a Deficit Mindset instead of a Surplus Mindset.
You have a Want-based why — yay!
But when you sit down to do the thing, you’re telling yourself that you’re below baseline in some way.
These could be things like:
“I’m behind.”
“I’m bad at this.”
“I should have done this already.”
“I’m such a mess.”
“Everyone else is better than me at this.”
Just like a Should-based why, a Deficit Mindset is not very motivating!
It’s very stressful to sit down to do something…
And immediately be confronted with all the ways you’re bad and behind and below baseline.
Your brain doesn’t want to sit there feeling bad.
So of course it nudges you (or even hijacks you!) to procrastinate or find something easier to do.
Having a Surplus Mindset means that you think you’re already above baseline.
You think things like:
“I’m good at this.”
“I’m on track.”
“I have plenty of time.”
“This is just icing on the cake.”
You feel safe and secure because you feel like you have ENOUGH.
Enough time. Enough skill. Enough progress. Enough of everything you want.
And feeling safe and secure is actually very motivating.
This is a REALLY surprising and unintuitive concept, so I’m going to say it again.
🌟 Feeling safe and secure is actually very motivating 🌟
The stakes feel lower. The task feels doable.
You can see success right there on the horizon. And you can’t wait to get started.
A Deficit Mindset feels like going from -1 to 0 — stressful, tense, urgent, desperate.
No wonder your brain wants to get away from it!
A Surplus Mindset feels like going from 100 to 110 — easy, fun, achievable, in flow.
No wonder your brain jumps up and gets started :)
So if you have something that you’re struggling to get done, I want you to check these two things.
What’s your why?
Make sure it’s a Want-based why, not a Should-based why.
Are you in a Surplus Mindset or a Deficit Mindset?
And if you’re in a Deficit Mindset, put yourself in a Surplus Mindset.
Appreciate how far you’ve already come, how good you already are at this, and how you already are where you want to be.
If you’ve got these two things taken care of, that thing is getting done, I guarantee it :)
I just gave you the answer. So why would you still need a coach?
Because your mind will fall out of its Want-based why’s and its Surplus Mindset on a regular basis.
You have a habit of being motivated by Should’s (and maybe even disregarding or being skeptical of your wants).
You have a habit of putting yourself in a Deficit Mindset (and maybe even thinking that praising yourself will make you arrogant or lazy).
Identifying the problem and the solution is only the starting point.
The real work is in implementing the solution in all the relevant parts of your life.
That’s where a coach comes in.
A coach gives you the structure, accountability, and expertise to actually get this DONE.
Imagine being able to set goals and KNOW you’ll be able to achieve them, every single time.
Imagine trusting yourself enough to actually go after the things you want the most.
And imagine having FUN the whole way there.
For the whole experience to feel like FLOW, not like a slog.
And to feel like, every day, you’re making contact with the best version of yourself.
That’s what I help people do. So come talk to me, and let’s get started.
What my clients have to say…
“I realized that you can learn just as much from your wins as from your losses.
When you have aspirations and big ambitions, it's really easy to be harsh on yourself. What changed the game for me was realizing that being mean to yourself and making progress are not related to each other at all.
Actually, you can have a completely normal, healthy relationship with yourself and encourage yourself AND make progress. I enjoy the process so much more now.”
—Client | Solutions Engineer at Fintech Company
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