3 questions to help you access flow on-demand
Here’s the big lie about flow:
That you need the exact right external circumstances…
And the exact right internal mental state…
In order to effortlessly drop into flow.
You need the exact right kind of task — just challenging enough, but not too challenging.
You need the exact right amount of time — a nice two-hour work block, not just 20 minutes between calls.
You need to have no distractions — phone away, door closed, notifications muted.
You need the exact right amount of confidence — calm certainty that you can tackle what’s in front of you and do a great job.
You need the exact right amount of focus — nothing can have frustrated you or distracted you earlier in the day.
Now, it’s true that you CAN effortlessly drop into flow when the stars align in this way.
But that’s not the ONLY time you can access flow.
You can also access flow…
When the task is hard, or boring, or seemingly pointless.
When you have way too little time.
When you’re surrounded by distractions.
When you’re not sure that you can do a great job.
When you’re frustrated or uncertain or scattered or tired.
You can still access flow in the face of all those external circumstances…
AND in the face of all those internal mental states…
By asking yourself these 3 questions.
Q1: Who do I want to be?
Q2: What is blocking me from being that person right now?
Q3: How does the person I want to be handle this blocker?
Let me give you some examples of what that could look like.
Q1: I want to be a senior leader with a big-picture perspective on where the company needs to be going.
Q2: But I can’t do that when I’m so immersed in the weeds and have no time to step back and do big-picture thinking.
Q3: Okay. How would a senior leader handle that problem? How would they create the time and step out of the weeds in order to still have a big-picture perspective?
You can literally imagine a senior leader you admire as you do this.
You can ask yourself: If Jane Smith, the head of our function, had to literally take over my job for the day…
What would she do that I’m not doing?
How would she bring her leadership and her vision to this role?
Here’s another example.
Q1: I want to be a sharp, bold thinker who has unexpected and valuable things to add to the conversation and isn’t afraid to jump in and share their perspective.
Q2: But I’m worried that my idea might be wrong, or that I might be missing something and look stupid when I jump in.
Q3: Okay. How does a sharp, bold thinker handle the possibility that their idea might be wrong, or that they might be missing something?
That’s a reasonable risk that sharp, bold thinkers face. How do they handle it?
Do they test their ideas with smaller groups first?
Frame their idea as a question rather than a statement?
Throw their idea out their boldly but be gracious and laugh at themselves if they realize they were wrong?
How do they mitigate that risk without staying silent?
You can even apply this to your personal life. For example:
Q1: I want to be a warm and gracious host to my extended family when they’re visiting me.
Q2: But I’m so tired. I don’t feel like I have the bandwidth to be “on” and entertain them at the end of a long work day.
Q3: Okay. How does a warm and gracious host handle being tired?
That’s a normal situation for warm and gracious hosts to find themselves in.
What workarounds do they find?
How do they make things easier on themselves?
How do they use their true feelings to connect with their guests rather than trying to hide their true feelings and put on a fake smile?
How do they still achieve their goal while accounting for their limited bandwidth?
Feeling like you’re succeeding at being the person you want to be creates a sense of ease, flow, and alignment.
But your flow gets disrupted when you think “The person I want to be doesn’t face these problems” or “They don’t struggle so much to solve these problems.”
But what if told you that the person that you want to be, and the people that you most admire…
Became that way because they spent MORE time facing these problems, and struggling with them, and figuring out the solutions?
Which means that if you find yourself facing this blocker…
Perfect! You’re exactly where you’re supposed to be.
You’re exactly on the right track.
This is the perfect opportunity to be the person you want to be and react like them to this situation.
And when you do that again and again with these three questions…
You feel, again and again, like you’re succeeding at being who you want to be…
You expand the set of circumstances in which you can find flow…
And you strengthen the mental muscle that lets you access flow on-demand.
The best way to deliver mind-bendingly high performance wherever you are…
Without burning yourself out, having no life, or never seeing your family again…
Is to be able to access a state of flow internally on-demand.
Even in the face of challenging circumstances and prickly emotions.
This is what I help my clients learn how to do.
If you want some one-off problem-solving about how to access flow in your current situation…
Swing by for a coffee chat ☕️
No strings attached.
It’s just an opportunity for us to discuss whatever’s on your mind, and I’ll be as helpful as I can be.
And if you want to build this skill systematically so you have it in your arsenal for the rest of your life…
Book a consult call and let’s map out a full coaching engagement together.
So you can walk away after 4-6 months with your flow-accessing mental muscle fully limbered up, worked out, and ready to use for life.
What my clients have to say…
“I’ve gained the ability to notice when I'm in the more negative thought patterns and to recognize that no amount of bullying myself is going to result in the change I want.
I’ve been able to build a more positive, affirming, confidence-building narrative about myself and spend just as much time looking for evidence that I spend time exactly how I should and that I'm already fully capable, rather than just looking at the negative.”
—Client | Early-Stage Tech Startup Director turned Design Consultant
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