3 Reasons You Have Imposter Syndrome & What To Do About It (part 1)
Today we are starting a series on imposter syndrome.
And over the next few days, I'm going to go over three reasons why you have imposter syndrome and what you can do about it.
Let’s go!
Reason 1: The story that you tell about your accomplishments
What created your previous accomplishments? What caused all your previous wins?
A lot of people tell the story of their accomplishments with an element of luck.
They say, “Someone gave me a chance. Things turned out really well. It was just a good situation.”
And I get it: We want to be humble. We want to acknowledge the privilege that we have.
But when you tell the story in that way to yourself, it creates an opening for imposter syndrome.
Because when you believe that some part of your success was outside of your control…
And then you get put in a new situation…
Your brain is going to be like:
“I hope that lucky thing happens again! What if that doesn't happen this time? It it doesn’t, people might find out that I'm not really the person who can get this done!”
And that's exactly how impostor syndrome comes in, when you attribute some of your past success to luck.
So the first thing you need to do is take 100% responsibility for your past accomplishments.
Of course, the situation was there. AND you did something with it
Because I guarantee you, there are people who were in the same (or better!) situation as you but who DIDN’T create the results you created.
So the story that you need to tell yourself is:
There were external elements, AND I made it happen.
What I DID with the elements I was given is fully on me. I completely created the accomplishments from my past
Which means you can put me in any situation you want. I'm going to get great results because I'm the person who creates great results no matter where I am.
Now that’s level one of combating imposter syndrome.
Here's level two: Not just taking responsibility for those accomplishments, but incorporating them into your identity.
So those accomplishments aren't just something you did. They are who you are.
And here's how I can tell if you've really done this. Let me give you an example.
Let's say I sign ten clients this month. And then for six months, I sign zero clients.
I'm still marketing. I'm still doing everything I can. Six months, no clients.
So I got a wanted result first. And then I got an unwanted result.
The way that I can tell whether or not I have shifted my identity is by how I react to the unwanted result.
If I have NOT shifted my identity based on my accomplishment, I'm going to look at “six months with no new clients,” and I'm going to make that into a me problem.
I'm going to say things like, “That one month was just a fluke. Maybe I've hit my limit. Maybe this is the most I can hope for.”
Those kinds of thoughts turn “six months with no new clients” into a me problem.
And “me problems” are really hard to solve! For two reasons:
They don't feel good. Most people feel embarrassed or ashamed of their “me problems.” And you are NOT going to do good, clear-headed problem-solving when you're feeling that way.
They’re not solvable. If the “reality” is that my one month was a fluke, or that I’ve hit my limit, what am I supposed to do about that?
Versus if I HAD shifted my identity…
If I took my one month where I signed ten clients and I said, “I'm a coach that signs clients on a consistent basis. Done. That test is passed. That milestone is proven. That is just who I am now.”
If I fully believe that, I can look “at six months with no new clients” and I can treat it as a process problem.
I can say, "Huh, there must be a breakdown somewhere. I wonder where it is. Email list? Social media? I just have to find the process problem and fix it.”
And process problems are really easy to solve.
They’re not personal. It’s no big deal! It’s just a sequence of steps.
They’re easy to solve. You just have to break down the steps and decide what to tweak.
And who better to solve this process problem than the coach that signs clients on a consistent basis?
You can literally say, “I'm the BEST person to solve this process problem because I already know how to do this. I’ve taken full responsibility for the success I already had. I've incorporated it into my identity — this is just who I am. So I am now the best person to solve this process problem.”
And this applies to any area where you've gotten a wanted result followed by an unwanted result.
You got into the school that you really wanted to get into, but then you go through recruiting and you don't get the job that you wanted.
You have four quarters of awesome results and get promoted, then six quarters of mediocre results and miss a promotion.
You’re eating healthy and working out but then you go on vacation, fall off track, and eat junk for two weeks.
If you treat all of those things as “me problems,” it's really hard to solve them.
And if you’re treating it as a me problem, it’s a sign that you HAVEN’T taken full responsibility for your previous success and you HAVEN’T incorporated it fully into your self-concept.
Versus, you can tell yourself:
I'm the person with this degree. I got in here. I'm done. I'm proven. Now I’m the best person to figure out how to get the job I want.
I'm the person that delivered amazing performance and got promoted faster than everyone else. I’m the best person to turn this situation around — I know exactly how to handle this.
I’m the person who eats healthy and works out. I’m the perfect person to figure out how to get back on track.
And there is no imposter syndrome because where is the imposter?
You're good.
You're already the person who is best positioned to solve this problem.
So all you need to do is:
Look at your previous accomplishments and write the story (on paper!) of how YOU made it happen, 100%.
Don't just treat those accomplishments as things you did but as who you are. Incorporate them into your identity as the person who gets things like that DONE.
And when the inevitable unwanted results come, treat them as process problems and look at yourself as the best person to solve them.
And as you're doing this work, if your brain is throwing up resistance like…
“I don't know how to believe that story.”
“If I do this, I'm going to get really arrogant.”
“I get it for a minute, but then I lose it again.”
Come talk to me.
Because you can do this work on your own. You guys are so smart and so hardworking, it’s crazy.
AND if you come work with me, it's going to go a lot faster.
It's going to be a lot more focused.
And the results are going to stick way longer because we're not just going to talk about it — I'm going to give you homework and make sure you get the reps and make sure you get it done.
📫 Question box | 📸 Instagram | 💌 Newsletter | 👋🏽 New? Start here