3 signs you’re hitting the limits of the Stressed Out Overachiever operating model
Here’s the hard thing about turning stressed out overachievers into secure high performers.
The Stressed Out Overachiever operating model works.
It gets you into great schools. It lets you land great jobs.
It keeps bosses happy. It keeps promotions coming.
It keeps money rolling in, and it keeps checkboxes checked.
If you’re a stressed out overachiever, you’re not wrong to be wary of changing up how you do things.
Because the way you’ve been operating so far has gotten you to where you are!
AND the Stressed Out Overachiever operating model also has limits.
And if you find yourself running into those limits…
That’s when it’s time to pause and build a new operating model.
It’s time to switch over and make the Secure High Performer operating model your primary MO.
Because that one can take you even further.
So here are 3 signs that you’re hitting the limits of the Stressed Out Overachiever operating model.
Sign #1: You no longer have the energy or willpower to push through stress and anxiety.
You know how when you were in college, you could pound drinks all night, sleep for four hours, and pop awake at 8 am, fresh as a daisy, ready to have a productive day?
But now, half a glass of wine and half an hour less of sleep messes you up for 3 days?
Maybe it’s just me :)
But I’ve had this same shift for stress and anxiety in my life — and I suspect you have too.
When you were younger, you’d pull the all-nighter, work like crazy, push yourself to do things you didn’t want to do, stay on the razor’s edge of tension for days at a time — and it was hard, but it didn’t kill you.
Whereas now, your capacity and willingness to push yourself through intense stress is just lower.
Your brain says, “Screw this. What am I doing this for? I just don’t care. I don’t want to do this.”
Your body says, “No more. Here is muscle pain / stomach problems / migraines / panic attacks / getting sick all the time — or whatever other physical symptom we have to give you to communicate to you that this is not working.”
If this is you, you are hitting the limits of the Stressed Out Overachiever operating model.
Sign #2: You’re at (or near) the end of the “prescribed path” and you’re not sure what to do next.
The Stressed Out Overachiever operating model is really good at crushing it on a prescribed path.
High school ➡️ College ➡️ Med school ➡️ Residency ➡️ Fellowship ➡️ Doctor? Done.
High school ➡️ College ➡️ Investment banking ➡️ Business school ➡️ Private equity? Done.
High school ➡️ College ➡️ Law school ➡️ Clerkship ➡️ Big Law ➡️ Law firm partner? Done.
Even though these paths are hard, there’s so much comfort and security in feeling like you’re on the right track and knowing exactly what to do next.
But here’s the thing about these prescribed paths.
For the first few steps, you and your peers will be walking in lockstep with each other. You’ll look to your left and to your right and everyone else will be doing the same thing.
As you get toward the end, people will start peeling off.
They’ll step off the path to do other things.
Some of those things will actually look pretty interesting or cool.
And you’ll be like, “Wait, everyone’s not doing this anymore? I could do something else?”
And even if you get to the very end of your prescribed path…
You’re going to hit the end in your 30s, latest in your 40s.
You’ll still have another 20-30 years of your career in front of you.
So either way…
The path will fragment below your feet.
And suddenly, you’ll have to decide what to do next, with no one to be accountable to but yourself.
And the Stressed Out Overachiever operating model isn’t as good at that.
So if you’re at (or near) the end of the “prescribed path” and you’re not sure what to do next, you are hitting the limits of the Stressed Out Overachiever operating model.
Sign #3: You know what you’d like to do next, but you’re stuck because there’s no clear roadmap to get there.
The Stressed Out Overachiever operating model does really well with a roadmap.
If you give it a clearly marked roadmap like this one, it’s going to do so well hitting every green square and avoiding every gray one.
But what happens when you give it this roadmap?
And you tell it that the only way to find out whether a square is green or not is to step on it?
And that it’ll have to step on 25 gray squares in order to find the 11 green ones?
The Stressed Out Overachiever operating model is not as well equipped for that.
It hates failure. It hates being off track. It hates being told that the square it just stepped on is gray, not green.
So it gets hesitant and fearful and takes no steps at all.
So if you know what you’d like to do next…
But you’re stuck because there’s no clear roadmap to get there.
If your “Start” and “Stop” square are very clear…
But you’re not moving because all the squares in between are gray with question marks…
You are hitting the limits of the Stressed Out Overachiever operating model.
If you’re experiencing one (or multiple) of these signs…
It’s easy to think that you’ve hit your limits overall as a human being.
But you haven’t. You’ve only hit the limits of your current operating model.
And don’t worry, because there’s a better one out there.
The Secure High Performer operating model can smash through all of these.
It can remain calm, grounded, and in control in the face of stressful situations.
It can develop clarity, vision, and focus in the face of infinite options.
It can navigate ambiguity and missteps with courage and good humor.
You already know this. You’ve used this operating model before.
We don’t to build it from scratch.
We just need to make it more robust, expand its reach in your life, and help you access it even when it doesn’t feel intuitive.
That’s what we do in coaching.
I’ve been doing consult calls all week, making step-by-step plans to do exactly this.
So come talk to me, and let’s get this done for you too :)
What my clients have to say…
“It's honestly fun.
You're working on the most important thing in your life — your goals and your aspirations.
And you're doing it in a manner that is not harsh or strict. In fact, it's quite fun.
It's like a video game, and you get to gently make progress towards the things that matter.”
—Client | Solutions Engineer at Fintech Company
Did you know I have a full table of contents, where all my work is categorized by topic, so you can easily find what you need right now? Check it out below! :)
As part of my mission to share coaching tools as widely as possible, my newsletter is completely paywall free and available to all.
You can support this publication (and make my day!) by subscribing and sharing it with anyone you think would find it helpful. Thank you for being here :)
💻 Website | 📸 Instagram | 👩🏻💻LinkedIn | 🎧 Podcast | 💌 Newsletter | 👋🏽 Free resources