3 Ways to Think About Doing Something "Different"
It’s not easy to transition from doing something that everyone has heard of to doing something no one has heard of.
It’s easy to walk into a party and tell people:
“I work at McKinsey.”
“I’m an investment banker.”
“I’m a VP at a Fortune 100 Company Everyone Has Heard Of.”
It’s harder to walk into a party and tell people:
“I work at Tiny Company No One Has Heard Of.”
“I’m a life coach.” (or any other title people are unfamiliar with)
“I’m in between jobs and trying to figure out what’s next.”
Often, people feel so uncomfortable at the thought that they might have to have this conversation…
…that they stay on paths they’re not excited about just so they can avoid the awkward silence after they tell people what they do.
And this fear can become the source of some real compare and despair.
Your brain will tell you: “HE gets to say he’s VP at Microsoft. SHE gets to say she’s a partner at McKinsey. What am I doing with my life??”
So let me give you 3 ways to think about doing something “different.”
Way #1: Use each awkward moment to find and fill your own confidence gaps.
There’s a reason you didn’t stay on the “normal, easy to explain” path.
Something about that path didn’t sit right with you.
Something was just rubbing you the wrong way, day after day, until you made the decision to come to this “wonky, harder to explain” path instead.
Go back to those original reasons. Remember them. Reinforce them. Come back to your own grounded center — your own inner knowing.
Then, assess the situation at hand.
The only thing that happened when the moment got awkward was that a confidence gap that was already within you got revealed.
What was that gap?
Where is the wobbly point in your foundation?
Let’s just find it and fill it.
If someone says, “Oh, you’re starting an AI company? Isn’t EVERYONE doing that right now?”…
What do you think? What’s your response to that?
Or if someone says, “You left your job? In THIS environment? Are you sure that’s a good idea?”
What do you think? What’s your response to that?
You don’t have to go back and tell them your response. The audience for your answer is yourself.
All they did was touch on a point that was already tender for you.
Go look at that question honestly. Write a robust counter-response. And put that worry to bed.
Way #2: Just get reps.
One element of getting comfortable with doing something different is plugging confidence gaps…
…and another element is just plain reps.
The first 30 times I told someone I was a life coach, I wanted the earth to swallow me up whole. I was SO embarrassed and awkward about it. (Which by the way, makes it pretty weird for the other person too.)
By the time I got to the 200th time I was telling someone I was a coach, it rolled off my tongue and I wasn’t fazed no matter how they reacted.
The more you do something, the easier it gets.
Even if you don’t consciously “work at it,” your unconscious brain will automatically figure out how to do it, make it easier, and put it on autopilot.
So just go get a bunch of reps and by the time you get to rep 50 or 100, you won’t even be thinking about it anymore.
Way #3: Love your tradeoff.
Sometimes, it IS awkward and it STAYS awkward.
No matter how many confidence gaps you’ve plugged. No matter how many reps you’ve gotten. Some conversations will just stay weird.
Maybe it’s your parents asking yet again, “Are you sure you don’t want to go back to that secure job?”
Or your old mentor, every time you catch up, saying, “Yeah, I still don’t believe in that idea you’re working on.”
In those moments when the awkwardness and self-doubt just isn’t going away, no matter what you do, you can love the tradeoff.
Very often, the “normal, easy to explain path” looks like this:
99% of the time you’re miserable — hating your day-to-day, wishing you could leave, having no faith in anything you’re doing
1% of the time you’re happy — people look impressed when you tell them what you do, your family goes “wow!” at Thanksgiving
And very often, the “wonky, harder to explain path looks like this:
99% of the time you’re happy — loving your day-to-day, inspired by the work you’re doing, excited about the mission you’re working toward
1% of the time you’re miserable — people give you a blank look when you tell them what you do, you get nagging questions from your family at Thanksgiving
If you ask me, the tradeoff in the second one is WAY better than the first.
And those 1% moments are still awkward and horrible.
But I’d pick that balance any day.
And so you can feel the awkwardness and horribleness of those “blank stare” moments…
…and still tell yourself, “Hell yeah, I’d rather have this than the opposite.”
Wherever you currently are in this process…
Whether you’ve just started to notice that your current path feels a bit off, and you’re afraid to even open that can of worms and ask “what else?”…
Or you’re in the messy middle, certain that you need to make a change, trying to figure out what to do next, but feeling a bit confused and overwhelmed by the decision…
Or you’re in the arena, working towards your next thing, getting battered by obstacles and rejections, and wondering whether you should quit or keep going…
Let me help you. This is my home turf.
I think about this problem all day long. I’ve seen more variations and twists and flavors of this journey than any one person will probably experience in a lifetime.
I know the patterns. I know the pitfalls. I’ve got exercises and frameworks for days, if you want them.
And most importantly, I know how to ask you the right questions and then step back and let you answer them.
Because the answer you’re looking for is really inside you.
I’m just a momentary guide to help you find it a little more quickly and easily than you might by yourself.
Some talk to me, and let’s get started :)
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