Accepting vs. Resisting a Job You Don't Like
Today, I want to talk to you about resisting vs. accepting a situation that really sucks.
Let’s say you’re in a job right now, and it’s awful.
You’re definitely planning to leave. The leadership is awful. The work is terrible. It’s super stressful. It doesn’t align with your values.
But you’re not leaving right this second.
You’re planning to stay for a few more months while you figure out what your next step is going to be, while you recruit, etc.
So you’ve got this time period where you know you’re going to leave, you know you’re not happy with where you are, but you haven’t actually pulled the trigger and left yet.
Let’s talk about, in that situation, resisting your current reality vs. accepting your current reality.
This is what resistance looks like.
You spend all day at your job (and outside your job!) really thinking about the GAP between what should be and what is.
You say again and again: “This job should be like this. My boss should be like this. I shouldn’t have to work on this stupid, boring task. This is so badly run.”
You put all your focus and attention on the GAP between what should be and what is.
And when you do that, all your energy goes towards analyzing and rehashing and telling everybody about how terrible this job is.
You’re writing essays and writing think pieces and going over all the evidence again and again.
And all that energy is NOT going toward figuring out what’s next.
That’s resistance.
This is what acceptance looks like.
Acceptance is when you say: This IS.
I’m not focusing on what should be. I’m not focusing on the GAP between what should be and what is.
I’m just saying, “Yes, this IS. It IS like this. My boss IS like this. My work IS like this. The culture IS like this. The business model IS like this. Okay.”
And you stop fighting what is.
When I say acceptance, I don’t mean global acceptance.
It’s not, “Every job is going to be like this. Every part of my career is going to be like this. Every company is going to be like this.”
That’s not acceptance — that’s defeatism.
When I say acceptance, I mean acceptance of what THIS specific situation is like.
It’s saying—
“In this place, this IS what it’s like.
I’m going to stop fighting it. I’m going to stop having conversations with myself and everyone else about why it’s so terrible that it is this way and how it should be and precisely what’s making it so terrible.
I’m just going to say it IS this way.
I’m going to let myself feel the disappointment, the grief, the rage that it IS this way.
But I’m going to accept that this current situation IS this way.”
And when you do that, it frees up your energy.
Instead of writing a million essays about how terrible this is, you can focus on getting out and doing what you want to do next.
So if you’re in a situation right now where you’re planning to leave but you’re not leaving yet, and you’re frustrated with your current situation…
See if you can get yourself from resistance and fighting the reality of what is…
To just accept that this is what it is and then focus on getting out.
PS—
I know. This can be easier said than done.
If you’re struggling with this, that is completely understandable.
Your brain is not crazy.
It has valid, logical reasons why it’s hanging on to its resistance of the situation — why it’s fighting acceptance.
So come talk to me and let’s figure out what they are.
And let’s get you on the path to acceptance rather than resistance so you can focus your energy on what’s next.
What my clients have to say…
"I felt like every Monday, regardless of what happened that week, I had someone who had my back and would help me gently course correct. Pooja would always help me push off my week to a great start so that I wouldn't lose out on the progress I had made or forget about all the good things I was doing. To kick start my week like that felt like a superpower."
—Client | Solutions Engineer at Fintech Company
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