Coaching vs. Therapy
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Do you have a healthy brain? Here’s a quick test for you. Do you…
Tend to zoom in on the bad stuff and totally ignore the good stuff?
Have at least one bad habit that you just can’t seem to break?
Get stressed even when you “know” there’s nothing to be stressed about?
Care too much about what other people think?
Work hard, achieve your goals, but still not feel that much better?
If you said yes to any of those questions…
Congratulations!! There is nothing wrong with you!
You have a normal, healthy, high-functioning brain.
People often ask me what the difference is between coaching and therapy.
I like to think of it as the difference between a doctor and a personal trainer.
When do you go to the doctor? When your situation is acute. When you are no longer functioning at your baseline. When something is going wrong in your body.
When do you go to a personal trainer? You’re not actively ill. You’re definitely still functioning. Nothing has gone wrong. But you’re looking at yourself and you’re like “I don’t want to keep living like this. Let’s level this up. Let’s feel better.”
(This is not to say that people with diagnosed mental disorders can’t be coached — coaching can be a great supplement to traditional therapy, just like an exercise routine can be a great supplement to a medical regimen. Just check with your doctor first.)
Normal, healthy brains are a lot like normal, healthy teeth. They need regular cleaning and maintenance.
Is there something wrong with your mouth, because you have to brush your teeth twice a day? Of course not! Getting dirty is just a normal thing that teeth do. And all you have to do is get in there and clean them out.
Is there something wrong with your brain, because you have to pause, look at your thoughts, and practice new ones sometimes? Of course not! Getting stuck in unhelpful loops is just a normal thing that brains do. And all you have to do is get in there and clean it out.
The point of coaching (and self-coaching) is not to change your brain.
The point is to learn how to work WITH your brain. To learn how it works. To recognize its patterns. To realize it’s always jumping to conclusions, often based on very little data. To take all its grand statements with a grain of salt.
And most of all, to learn to be its friend. Because it’s not going anywhere.
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