Don't Get Stuck in Problem-Finding Mode
Today I want to talk about problem-finding mode:
What it is
Why you don't want to be stuck in it
How you can get out of it
You can tell if your brain is in problem-finding mode if you notice these three things happening:
You find a problem.
You solve that problem! It is well and truly solved.
Your brain immediately moves on to the next problem without appreciating any of the progress you just made.
For example…
I can't find anyone that I like on the dating apps.
I found someone I really like!
Now I'm really stressed because I don't know if they like me back or not 😬
Or…
My kids are wrecking my house. They have so much pent up energy, and I have no idea what to do with them.
I signed them up for a bunch of activities!
Now I have to spend all my time driving them around 😒
Or…
I really want to get onto this project at work.
I got assigned to the project!!
Now I'm really scared I won't be able to deliver 😥
I don't want to invalidate the new problem that you found.
You're not being too negative or a Debbie Downer or anything like that. It's often a legitimate problem that you do actually want to solve!
BUT, at the same time, you can also appreciate that this is a better problem to have than your original problem.
You PREFER the new problem, versus the old one.
You prefer to like someone and not be sure if they like you too, versus not having anyone that you like.
You prefer driving your kids around, versus having them wreck your house.
You prefer figuring out how to deliver on the project, versus not having the project at all.
The presence of this new problem in your life represents progress.
But if you don't notice the progress that you’re making, it can start to feel like your life is just an endless conveyor belt of problems.
But you are not on a problem conveyor belt.
You are on a problem staircase.
Each new problem represents progress towards the life that you actually want. Which means the presence of each new problem is a really good thing!
You still have problems to solve. I won't dispute that.
But that's not a problem.
It's actually really good because each new problem is a higher quality, more advanced, more desirable problem than the last one that you just solved.
Now, you can read this and say “Yeah, that's cool. I'll try to keep that in mind.”
But let's talk about what it takes to actually implement this mindset in your day to day life.
Because I guarantee you, just because you read this once, does not mean your brain is never going to go into problem-finding mode ever again.
So if you really want to implement this mindset (or any mindset), you have to do three things:
You have to notice when you're in problem-finding mode. You have to notice when you're being terminally grumpy or frustrated or just feeling beat-down and sick of everything.
You have to question that mindset. Notice your progress. Appreciate the fact you get to work on these new problems because you've taken care of those old problems. Generate a sense of pride and joy and security and accomplishment in the progress that you've made.
This is the most important part — You have to take action from that new mindset and from that new emotion. That is what really locks it in and cements it in your mind.
If you do those three things enough times, this new perspective will become second nature. It will become your automatic interpretation when new problems arise in your life.
You can do this on your own, if you like. I gave you the answer. You just have to execute.
But if you want to do this systematically, efficiently, effectively, and get life-long lasting results, here's my advice to you:
Hire a coach.
Because taking control of your mind and learning how to understand it and work with it systematically to knock out problems one by one until all you're left with is the life that you actually want — that is a pursuit that is worth doing right.
I want you to get this done.
And if that's what you want too, come talk to me, and let's get started.
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