Emotional logic vs. intellectual logic
And what to do when your emotional logic doesn’t serve you
Let’s talk about going after something that you really want, but that you’re afraid has a low chance of success.
This could be something like switching into a new career field, or getting funding for your startup, or even dating the kind of person that you actually want to date.
When you feel like there’s a low chance of success for something, you have intellectual logic about that situation, and you have emotional logic about that situation.
The intellectual logic is: If there’s a low chance of success, you should try MORE times.
If you want to change careers, and you think 80% of people won’t like the fact that you don’t have experience, but 20% of people will be willing to take a shot on you, you should do MORE applications, MORE interviews, and MORE networking.
If you’re trying to get funding for your startup and you think it’s hard to get funding, you should take MORE meetings and talk to MORE people.
If you want to date your A+ person, and there’s not a lot of them out there, you should go on MORE dates.
If there’s a lower chance of success, you need to try MORE. You need more at-bats.
But that’s usually not how people make decisions in this situation.
Most people are ruled by their emotional logic.
The emotional logic is: If there’s a low chance of success, you should try LESS, or not at all.
This happens for two reasons.
First, your brain mistakes a LOW chance of success for NO chance of success.
So it tells you: “What’s the point? This is never going to work. Don’t waste your time.”
And second, your brain pre-experiences the pain of rejection before it even happens.
You pre-experience all the terrible things you’re going to say to yourself and all the awful emotions you’ll feel if you have a bad interview or get a no during fundraising or get rejected after a date.
And with that anticipated pain in mind…
You go towards your goal primed to see everything that could go wrong…
And you move forward in a wincing, hesitating way that makes you stop at the first obstacle.
Your emotional logic isn’t wrong per se.
But if you follow your emotional logic, you are virtually guaranteed to NOT get what you want.
If you want to make this career switch, but you don’t try at all, or you only do a few interviews, you won’t be able to make the switch.
If you want to get funding, but you do zero fundraising calls, or just a few fundraising calls, you’re not going to get the funding.
If you want to date your A+ person, but you meet new people three times a year, you’re probably not going to find that person.
So here’s what I want you to do:
Set a quantity goal.
Don’t set a goal of: Land the job.
Set a goal of: Have 30 coffee chats and apply to 10 jobs.
Don’t set a goal of: Get funding.
Set a goal of: Do 20 pitches.
Don’t set a goal of: Find my A+ person.
Set a goal of: Go on 50 dates.
Quantity goals short-circuit your emotional logic.
They keep you focused on things that are 100% in your control.
And they give you a sense of progress. Every rejection is a win, because it’s one more attempt.
Conflicts between intellectual logic and emotional logic are a massive reason why people end up feeling stuck.
One part of you wants to go for it…
Another part of you says NO!
And you’re stuck motionless in between.
The reason you’re stuck is because there are two wheels going in opposite directions in your head.
“I want to change careers…but it’s not possible, so why bother trying.”
“I want to get funding…but I hate doing pitches.”
“I want to be in a relationship…but dating apps sucks and I hate them.”
One wheel is rolling forward. The other wheel is rolling back. And you’re stuck in between.
The whole point of coaching is to get all your wheels moving in the same direction.
Sometimes your emotional logic is 100% right. It’s the wise whispering of intuition. It’s your spidey sense picking up on things before you can articulate them.
Sometimes your emotional logic is 100% wrong. It’s a cognitive illusion, or a fallacy, or just an old outdated story you keep telling yourself.
And often, the answer is somewhere in between. Your gut feelings and urges and wordless vibes are just data, containing both signal and noise.
A coach is an expert in helping you sort through the signal and noise in your own mind.
In helping you distinguish the wise intuition from the outdated programming.
And helping you get into alignment with yourself so you can get back to doing your best work.
Let’s start today.
What my clients have to say…
“I was worried it would just be a patch on things. As soon as I’m not talking to Pooja and working through some of these things, does it all go back to square one?
But as we worked together, if we didn’t have a session for one week, it was evident that I didn’t immediately go to zero. The tools and training Pooja gives people stick.”
—Client | VP - Global Product, Visa
Did you know I have a full table of contents, where all my work is categorized by topic, so you can easily find what you need right now? Check it out below! :)
💻 Website | 📸 Instagram | 🎧 Podcast | 💌 Newsletter | 👋🏽 Free resources