How to Enjoy the Process (and Not Just the Goal)

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Let’s say you’ve created the perfect vision for yourself. You know exactly what you want to do — the ultimate career that will give you all the fulfillment and purpose and happiness in the world.

But…you can’t do it yet.

You may have to transition from the path you’re currently on to a different path. (I’m working in finance, but I really want to be in edtech.)

You may have to progress from the level you’re currently at to a different level. (I want to be a CEO, but I have to work my way up before I’m considered for the job.)

Or you may have to do both!

So what do you do while you wait? Just tough it out? Getting there is kind of annoying, but no one gets what they want all the time. You pay your dues and once you’re there, you’ll finally live your ultimate purpose and feel amazing. Right?

Nope!

“Fulfilled” is a feeling. Happy, aligned, purposeful, authentic — all feelings.

Which means they come from your thoughts, not your circumstances.

How does that square with going after what you want? Does that mean you should just stay in your current job and hypnotize yourself into loving it?

Absolutely not. You should 100% design the life you want to be living and take every step you can to get there.

But you can start being who you want to be — and feeling the way you want to feel — on the way to getting what you want. Not just when you arrive.

How do you actually do that?

Let’s look at a (fictionalized) example.

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Client:

Okay, I did all your exercises and it was super helpful. I feel like my best days are:

• When I get to absorb lots of information from different sources, synthesize it, and make connections no one else saw

• When I’m helping people see their situation in a totally different way. I love seeing their eyes light up when they realize “Oh crap, I thought we should do X but actually, we should do Y!”

And the reason I’m unhappy with my role right now is that

• I’m spending too much time gathering information from random places and I don’t have time to actually synthesize — I miss having a team that did the legwork for me and I could just think

• We’re firefighting every day. No one has time to think about the big picture or question what we’re doing and why.

So I guess what I really need is a corporate strategy-type role at a smaller company.

• I want a more senior title so I can have a team that does the legwork

• I want to be in a strategy function so I have the authority to have strategic discussions

• I want it to be a smaller company so I can stay close to the execution, without being in some ivory tower like most corporate strategy teams are.

Is that the kind of job I should look for?

Coach:

Yes, that makes a ton of sense, and using these criteria to filter future jobs is a great call.

Here’s my other push for you though–

Imagine you are the “the corporate strategy genius,” or whatever you want to call her. You’re kicking butt every day, people are clamoring for your advice, you’re adding tons of value, and you’re feeling amazing.

Now imagine THAT version of you gets thrown into your current situation. Everything is on fire. Her team is swamped, so she’s having to pull data herself. She’s rushing around day to day. And no one in the company wants to think about the bigger picture right now.

How does THAT version of you handle this situation? What does the corporate strategy genius do?

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It’s a question that may take a few tries to answer. (And there’s no need to answer it all at once.)

But that’s how you practice. That’s how you step into the career you want while you’re on the way to creating it.

Getting the job and the environment and the goals and the activities all just right will help a ton — you should absolutely try to do that.

But at the end of the day, living the life you want to live is created in your head, not in your circumstances.

Because the reality is, even if you design everything perfectly, stuff comes up. Whether that stuff is a problem or an interesting challenge for you to handle — that’s up to you.

If you’re in the habit of finding obstacles, finding stressors, finding things that suck everywhere you go, then the stuff is always a problem (and it probably seems like it pops up everywhere you go).

So here’s the real goal: You get to where you want to be — and nothing much changes. The circumstances might look a little different — the title, the company, the team, the scope. But your mindset? The feeling you have at work every day? Exactly the same, because you’ve been practicing it all along.

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Photo by Vlad Bagacian on Unsplash