How to Find Your Dream Job
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Here’s the one thing I wish someone had told me about finding your dream job:
🗣 It’s not actually about the job.
People think that there is a perfect right-fit job out there for them, and if they could just find their passion, find the right industry, find the right role, set it up just right — then everything would magically click into place.
This is what I thought too! I spent so much time hunting for my passion, reading job descriptions, taking career tests, talking to other people — all in an effort to figure out:
What job is going to make me feel happy?
If you’ve been reading along with this newsletter at all, then you’ve already spotted the fatal flaw in my reasoning.
Jobs don’t cause happiness. A job is just a circumstance – a neutral fact that exists in the world.
Only my thoughts ABOUT my job can make me feel happy.
(Or fulfilled, or motivated, or energized, or whatever else I want to feel.)
Most people hear this and they’re like, “Uh… So you’re saying I just need to stay where I am and make myself like it? That sounds depressing.”
That’s not what I’m saying at all!
What I’m saying is:
A dream job is not something that happens TO you. It’s something that you actively CREATE.
Which means…
You don’t need the right job.
You need the right process.
And luckily, you can start exactly where you are.
What is the process for creating your dream job?
Step 1: Diagnose why you’re not happy today
Start with a specific example of you being unhappy at work and ask yourself: What was I thinking that made me feel unhappy? (Or unfulfilled or frustrated or stressed or…etc.)
Example 1:
I felt so demotivated as I was writing that presentation. The reason I felt demotivated was because I was thinking, “I hate writing. I wish I could just crunch numbers all day.”
Example 2:
I feel so stressed every time my boss pings me with something new. The reason I feel that way is because I’m thinking, “I’m so behind.”
Notice that we’re not blaming ANY circumstances here! The presentation is not making you feel demotivated. Your boss’s pings are not making you feel stressed. We’re pinpointing the true root cause of the unhappiness: your thoughts about the circumstance.
Step 2: Decide if this is a thought habit that you want to carry forward
Your thought habits will be coming with you no matter how many times you change jobs. So look at this thought and decide — do I want to put this thought on repeat?
Example 1:
Yes! Crunching numbers is my competitive advantage, and I want to build on my strengths. I feel 100% comfortable putting this thought on repeat for the rest of my life.
Example 2:
Do I want to think I’m behind for the rest of my life? Uh, definitely not!
Step 3: If yes, make a plan to change your situation. If no, make a plan to change your thinking.
If you like your thought and you want to carry it forward, then the answer is clear: You need to change your situation! Make a plan to get more of what you want.
If you don’t like your thought and don’t want to carry it forward, the answer is equally clear: You need to change your thinking! Make a plan to think (and believe) something new next time the situation arises.
Example 1:
I want to do more quantitative work. I’m going to talk to my manager about how to do that in my current role. I’m going to talk to two other teams that might be a better fit for me. And I’m going to start a data science certification on Coursera.
Example 2:
Okay, “I’m behind” is a thought, not a fact… What else could I think when my boss pings me? I’m going to make a list of 5 alternate thoughts, practice them in the morning before work, and put them on a post-it on my laptop.
Step 4: Do what you planned, see how you feel, and go back to Step 1 when you need to
Here’s what always happens, when you change your situation OR when change your thoughts:
Problems come up. Things don’t go the way you expected. You feel bad again, but this time for a new reason.
Nothing is going wrong when this happens.
This is a NORMAL part of the process. That’s why it’s a process, not a one-and-done outcome.
Luckily, you already know exactly what to do.
Example 1:
I talked to the other two teams and I feel SO intimidated. I’m feeling intimidated because I’m thinking, “I’m not smart enough to do this.” Okay, that’s NOT a thought habit I want to carry forward. Here’s my plan for changing that thought…
Example 2:
I started thinking (and believing) “I know exactly how to prioritize my work.” That thought made me feel in control. When I felt in control, it was easy to prioritize my boss’s requests against everything else on my plate. But now I’m feeling stressed because I’m thinking “I don’t want to half-ass 10 things. I’d rather do 3 things really well.” And I agree! I would like to carry that thought habit forward. So I’m going to delegate some of these tasks.
And that is how, step by step, your dream job is created.
It’s not one big, perfect answer that falls out of the sky.
There’s no day where everything magically clicks into place.
It’s actually a series of small, day-to-day decisions that, when you add them up, result in you taking control of your mind and your situation, and creating the life that you want to be living.
Want some help putting this process into practice? Want to get the detailed version, where we go way in depth on every step and break it down even further? Come talk to me and let me guide you through it, every step of the way.
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