How to find your flow
In the space between automatic response and deliberate response
Most people have heard the famous Viktor Frankl quote—
Between stimulus and response there is a space.
In that space is our power to choose our response.
In our response lies our growth and our freedom.
I completely agree with what Frankl is saying…
But I want to dig a bit deeper into the word “response.”
Because the reality is that your brain has an instant automatic response to everything happening around you.
That automatic response happens whether you like it or not. You can’t turn it off. You can’t decide to have it later.
That instant automatic response fires in less than a second, and it happens without any conscious intention, effort, or control on your part.
So here’s where I think your power really lies.
It’s not in the space between stimulus and response.
It’s in the space between automatic response and deliberate response.
Now, here’s the tricky thing about your automatic responses.
Your automatic responses have two parts.
Your Automatic Brain is is like the best, most sincere, most proactive team member you could ever ask for.
It doesn’t just tell you there’s a problem.
It tells you here’s a problem and here’s what we should do about it.
Your automatic response is one part analysis and one part action plan.
Which means that when you’re figuring out your deliberate response, you have three possible scenarios.
Scenario 1: You disagree with the analysis. The action plan is moot because it’s based on faulty analysis. Back to the drawing board. You need to think again.
Scenario 2: You agree with the analysis but you disagree with the action plan. Your rockstar teammate has raised some very good points! You agree with the gaps. You agree with the goals. But you want to take a different path to get there.
Scenario 3: You agree with the analysis AND the action plan. Full steam ahead. Let’s go, partner.
That last scenario is what it feels like to be in flow.
It’s what it feels like when you’re fully in alignment with yourself.
In harmony with your own signals.
Firing on all cylinders.
Doing your best work.
Enjoying the experience of being yourself.
And I’m going to be honest…
You and your Automatic Brain are not going to naturally land in flow 100% of the time.
Anymore than you and a teammate are going to naturally be in sync about analyses and action plans 100% of the time.
But don’t worry.
Scenario 1 and 2 are not a problem.
Scenario 1 and 2 are your pathway to even deeper, more expansive, more resilient flow.
Think about how it works when you’re on a team.
Being in Scenario 1 or 2 with a teammate isn’t a problem.
Recognizing that you’re in Scenario 1 or 2 and then having an open, honest, “I trust you and you trust me” conversation about it is the pathway to being even more in sync with each other.
Even though these conversations can seem scary at first…
You usually end up MORE in sync and MORE aligned than you were before.
You become BETTER partners than you were before the disagreement.
The same thing is true with you and your Automatic Brain.
Finding yourself in Scenario 1 or 2 is not a problem.
Recognizing that you’re in Scenario 1 or 2 and then having an open, honest, “I trust you and you trust me” conversation about it with yourself is the pathway back to flow.
And the more you have these conversations with yourself…
The more you will develop a sense of flow that runs deeper and more true…
Becomes more expansive across more and more parts of your life…
And remains resilient even in the face of challenges.
A coach is a person who teaches you how to have this conversation with yourself.
This is, in the simplest possible terms, what we do in coaching.
And this simple thing we do creates massive, life-altering results.
Because when you learn how to have this conversation, you learn how to come back home to yourself.
And you take creative authority over yourself, your career, and your life.
It’s inevitable when you’re in flow.
So come talk to me today, and let’s get started.
What my clients have to say…
“Some weeks, I have a very specific thing that is troubling me, and I'm excited to talk about it.
And there are other times where I came in and I didn't quite know what I wanted to talk about, and those were the sessions where Pooja was able to help me unpack something that I didn't even know was there.
It surprised me that I didn't have to do all the work in advance to come in with the agenda of what I needed to talk about, and that there are nuggets and insights to get, no matter how clearly I even see the problem coming in.”
—Client | Early-Stage Tech Startup Director turned Design Consultant
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