How to Hire a Coach
I’ve bought a lot of coaching in my life — in different formats, at different price points, and from different people.
And a key part of my job is helping people decide whether or not to buy coaching and, if yes, whether they should hire me, or someone else.
My goal is not that everyone signs up with me. I’m not the right fit for everyone!
My goal is that everyone takes a step forward toward their goals and dreams and that they do so with the best-fit resources for them.
So let me give you my guide to hiring the best-fit coach for you.
Step 1: Feel the burning platform
If you’re considering hiring a coach, you likely have a problem you want to solve or a goal you want to achieve.
It could be very specific:
I’ve got to fix my marriage.
I’ve got to stop procrastinating.
I need to stop feeling so stressed at work.
I need to decide what my next job is going to be.
I’ve got to stop overeating.
Or it could be more broad:
I want to be less anxious.
I want to be more present.
I just feel stuck, and I want to get un-stuck.
I don’t want to be so mean to myself.
My life just hasn’t gone the way I thought it would, and I don’t know how to change it.
It doesn’t matter whether the thing you want to work on is specific or vague.
It’s okay if you’re not sure exactly how to explain it — or if it takes you 15 minutes of brain dumping to get it across to someone else.
What matters is that YOU feel the burning platform.
That you’re like, “This is a high-priority issue, and it needs to be solved NOW.”
And once you feel the burning platform, make a commitment to yourself that you WILL be solving this.
From this moment forward, this is getting DONE.
Now it’s just a matter of figuring out how.
Step 2: Understand different coaches’ methodologies
The Life Coach School has hundreds of coaches in their coach directory.
Many companies offer coaching in-house or through platforms like CoachNow and BetterUp.
Many colleges and grad schools offer coaching and mentoring services to alumni.
You can even find therapists through BetterHelp or through your insurance.
Put together a list of people you want to do free consultation calls with.
Then on each call…
Give them your brain dump
This doesn’t need to be structured or analytical.
In fact, it’s better if you just dump out everything in your brain and let THEM structure and analyze it.
Just tell them how things are going right now, what problem you’re hoping to solve, and what end results you want to get out of your coaching engagement.
Listen to their diagnosis, solution, and process
Different coaches will have different approaches.
Compare approaches and pick the one you’re most compelled by.
What does this coach think the real problem is here? What is their diagnosis of the situation?
Given that diagnosis, what is this coach’s solution? What do they think needs to change?
And what is this coach’s process or methodology to put that change into effect? How will they get you from A to Z, step by step?
For example, if you’re trying to lose weight and keep it off for good…
Coach A could say:
Your problem is that you’re eating the wrong foods.
The solution is to follow the right food plan.
The process is that I make a food plan for you to follow and then I provide accountability to help you follow it.
While Coach B could say:
Your problem is that you react to negative emotions by eating.
The solution is to (1) change your thinking so you feel less negative, and (2) to learn how to sit with negative emotions rather than blocking them out with food.
My process is that I teach you how to do those two things using specific situations in your life. You go off and practice these skills between sessions, and we continually troubleshoot how it’s going. By the end of the coaching package, you’ll get enough reps that you’ll walk away knowing how to do this consistently.
Some coaches are more focused on action plans and accountability.
Others are more focused on mindset and emotional management.
Some coaches use their own experience to advise you — they’re like mentors.
Others use tools and frameworks to break down problems — they’re like consultants.
Some coaches want to dig deeply into your childhood.
Others want to stay focused on the present day.
No approach is right or wrong.
But you should listen to a variety of approaches and decide which one resonates with YOU — which one YOU believe will get you the results you’re looking for.
So ask lots of questions. Raise your skepticism. Get all your concerns answered.
And make sure you feel confident that whatever approach you choose will get you RESULTS.
Because remember — you’re not here to just vent for an hour a week or to “surrender yourself” into the hands of a professional and just hope that whatever they’re doing is working.
You are a smart, capable, worldly human being, and you are here to get results.
Choose the process that you believe will GET you those results on a reasonable timeframe.
Vibe check
Once you have confidence in the coach’s process, the next question to ask yourself is: Do I like hanging out with this person?
Would you enjoy spending an hour a week with them, working through this problem?
Do they make you feel safe and heard?
Do they push you as much as you want to be pushed, while still cheerleading you and supporting you?
Some people want a no-nonsense coach who just gives it to them straight.
Others want someone who’s more gentle and delivers the truth with a hug.
Again, there’s no right or wrong answer here.
But make sure you choose someone your heart feels good about.
And if you love the methodology but don’t love the vibe of that specific coach, go find other coaches with the same methodology!
I promise you, that one coach is not the only person in the universe coaching the way they do.
You always have more options.
Step 3: Watch out for the fear monster 👹
Once you have a burning platform — a high-priority problem that you want to solve NOW (not six months from now).
And you’ve found a coaching methodology that you believe will get you results.
And you’ve found a coach you vibe with and would like to spend time with.
Here’s what’s going to happen next.
Your fear monster is going to rear its head. 😱
By which I mean:
The thing you most need coaching on is going to try to block you from getting coaching.
Have a deep fear of failure?
Your brain will tell you: “You’ll fail at coaching, so don’t sign up.”
Always feel like you don’t have enough time?
Your brain will tell you: “You don’t have enough time for this, so don’t sign up.”
Have trouble putting your own needs before others’?
Your brain will tell you: “It’s selfish to spend money on myself, so don’t sign up.”
You’re not going crazy when this happens.
This is an extremely common phenomenon.
(It happened to me too, the first time I bought coaching!)
And when this happens, you need to remind yourself that you’ve already done the analysis:
You have the burning platform.
You’ve vetted the process, and you believe it will work.
You vibe with the person you want to work with.
Logically, the answer is to move forward.
So when the fear monster rears its head, tell yourself—
“Instead of letting this fear block me from solving my problems yet again…
I’m going to bring it to my first coaching session, and we’re going to start working on it.
I know it’s scary. But this is not a logical or analytical objection to signing up for coaching.
This is just the thing I most need coaching on trying to block me from getting coaching.
And I’m DONE letting it hold me back.”
So here’s what I want you to do next.
Do Step 1. Feel your burning platform.
And then come talk to me and do a coaching consult.
I don’t know if we’ll end up working together.
(I don’t even know if we SHOULD work together!)
But here’s the one thing I can guarantee—
By doing a consult call with me, you will take one step forward.
If that step is to work with me — great!
If that step is to realize, in talking to me, that you actually need a different kind of coaching — great!
If that step is just to say, for the first time, “Hey, I’m struggling with this, and I would like some help” — great!
Don’t stay stuck one more day.
Come talk to me, and take one step forward.
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