Most high achievers find rest to be a surprisingly stressful experience.
You WANT to rest, and take a break, and recharge your batteries…
You know, in theory, that resting is good for you and that you’ll burn out and be less effective if you don’t do it.
And yet, when it actually comes time to take that break…
There’s a voice in your head whispering, “You should be working!!” the entire time you’re trying to chill out.
Here are the usual ways you probably try to solve this problem
You try to get “enough” stuff done, so that you feel like you’ve earned the rest.
BUT…
That “enough” destination never seems to arrive. There’s always more you could be doing.
Or: You look for the “best” self-care routine — the exact right sequence of exercise, meditation, no-screen-time, and spa treatments that will turn off that stressful voice in your head.
BUT…
That voice in your head just keeps chattering through all of it, and now you’re in your bubble bath, or on your walk, worrying about the messages you’re not replying to.
Or: You try to make your rest time productive, to convince your brain that it’s not REST, it’s just different work! “I’ll take a break and reorganize my closet!”
BUT…
There’s a part of your brain that’s like, “Fuck this! More work?? I just want to REST!!”
And since you’re not actually getting any rest while you do all this…
You can feel burnout and a full mind and body shutdown creeping ever closer.
The reason your current rest tactics don’t work is because you haven’t actually convinced your brain that it’s okay to rest.
You know that you SHOULD think that it’s okay to rest.
You would advise everyone else to do it.
You’d tell your best friend, “Take a break! Relax!”
But you don’t actually believe that this applies to YOU.
And so of course you’re not going to do it.
And that’s okay!
Because I’m going to give you a way to actually 100% believe that it’s okay to rest.
A way to fully shut down that stressful voice in your mind that keeps saying “You should be working!!” every time you try to take a break.
I call it: Employee Mindset vs. Asset Mindset.
Employee Mindset says that you create value through the sheer number of hours you work and tasks you complete.
Employee Mindset sees you as an assembly line worker in an email factory.
All day long, you turn the crank and produce “knowledge work widgets” — emails, documents, Slack messages, presentations, meeting agendas, Notion boards, Asana updates, etc., etc.
And the more widgets you produce, the more valuable you are.
So all day long, you better keep turning that crank, and producing more widgets!
And any breaks you take are just time wasted, because you could have spent that time turning the widget crank.
Asset Mindset says you create value through the quality of your thinking.
Your brain is a not a muscle — like a massive bicep that should be turning the widget crank as fast as possible at all hours.
Your brain is an asset — that produces more value the more that you invest in it.
Your goal is not to produce as many “knowledge work widgets” as possible.
Your goal is to solve problems — with clear, elegant, insightful thinking that cuts through the noise and shines a light on the path forward.
Especially as AI gets better and better at producing those “knowledge work widgets”…
The quality, insight, and creativity of your thinking is way more important than how many emails your respond to or how many tasks you check off your to-do list.
And when you’re in Asset Mindset, the most important thing you can do is: Invest in the asset.
Give your brain what it needs so that it produces even better results.
Keep the golden goose of your brain well fed, well rested, and well taken care of, so that it lays even more golden eggs.
When you see rest NOT as “time you could have spent turning the widget crank”…
But as an investment the asset…
You can ACTUALLY rest.
You can actually step away from your work.
That voice in your head saying, “You should be working!” actually turns off.
You can sink all the way into whatever you want to do, and actually enjoy it.
And you can actually get a full unplug and a full recharge anytime you want — not just a couple times a year on vacation.
Here are the 3 simple skills you need to master, in order to do this successfully.
Skill #1: Awareness —
You need to notice when your brain has slipped into Employee Mindset and is refusing to let you leave the “assembly line.”
Skill #2: Curiosity —
You need to ask your brain:
“Why? I trust you, brain. I believe you have good reasons here.
So what’s your logic? Why do you think Employee Mindset is the right way to look at this?”
Skill #3: Reframing —
The reality is that your brain IS more like an asset than a crank-turning bicep.
The reality is that your value IS created more by the quality of your thinking than by the sheer number of emails you pump out.
So you have to help your brain see how that’s still true even in its current situation.
If you can be aware, be curious, and do a little bit of reframing…
You can fully unplug and actually rest.
And even beyond that, you can invest in your asset to the fullest extent, do your best damn work, and create the life you actually want.
Building those skills, and building toward the life you actually want, is exactly what I do with my clients.
So come talk to me, and let’s get started.
You can drop by anytime for a no-strings-attached coffee chat ☕️
It’s not a sales pitch.
It’s just an opportunity for us to talk about whatever’s on your mind…
And I’ll give you some one-off coaching and brainstorming about your situation.
Or you can book a consult call, and we can map out a full coaching engagement.
We’ll work on fully resting…
And then we’ll also work on everything you’re doing when you’re not resting.
Because chances are, Employee Mindset is creeping into the way you work day-to-day, and even the way you plan your career and approach job transitions.
And switching over to Asset Mindset can not only help you rest better — it can also help you perform better at work, position yourself better in your career, and transition more effectively to your next role.
So book your call. Then take a nap. And then let’s get cracking on all of it :)
What my clients have to say…
“I liked Pooja’s easy going style.
It felt like I was talking to a friend and that she was really listening to what I had to say, rather than just sort of waiting for her chance to give the standard textbook advice.”
—Client | Communications Consultant turned Lawyer
I help high achievers build their careers around flow.
This requires…
Internally, learning how to access your flow no matter what’s going on around you
Externally, designing a career strategy that angles your flow at a high-priority problem that someone will pay you good money to solve
Tactically, navigating the transition from the role you’re in to the role you want
Today’s post focused on #1.
For more writing on all 3 of these, check out my table of contents.
You can also support this publication (and make my day!) by subscribing and sharing it with anyone you think would find it helpful. Thank you for being here :)
💻 Website | 📸 Instagram | 👩🏻💻LinkedIn | 🎧 Podcast | 💌 Newsletter | 👋🏽 Free resources
Love this. A few quiet things I’ve felt too —
— Resting but still replaying the day
— Feeling guilty before I start
— Wanting rest but fearing it feels “lazy”
Rest shouldn’t cost emotional energy. 🪴