How to Think About Money When Changing Careers
One of the MAJOR blockers people run into when they’re thinking about changing jobs or careers is “I can’t make a change because I need to make money.”
People will think this thought and then just stop problem-solving.
They’ll think this thought and then just resign themselves to staying on their current path forever, as if that’s their only option.
But often, the mental analysis that this thought is based on is incredibly rough, rapid, UN-rigorous, and UN-thoughtful.
If an analyst on your team presented you with a conclusion based on this kind of snap-judgment, zero-thoughtfulness analysis, you’d seriously consider firing them.
But because money is such a scary and intimidating topic for many people…
They accept this kind of shoddy analysis from themselves (and then they stay on paths they hate!) because thinking about money more deeply brings up shame and fear and restriction and inadequacy.
And the soft animal inside of you wants to get away from those emotions as quickly as possible. It just wants to take its hand off the hot pan asap.
The soft animal inside of you prioritizes that short-term pain relief over everything else — even if that means that in the long term, you live a life you don’t like.
So today, I want to give you more ways to think about money so you can…
Slow your brain down.
Reduce your fear and shame and scarcity around money — make the pan less hot while you’re touching it.
Which can then help you do more rigorous and creative problem-solving around money…
And come to better, more thoughtful conclusions about what to do next in your career.
Let’s break down money into three different components.
1: Money as a tool
These are the concrete things that you want your money to do for you and how much money it takes to make that happen.
They are things like: Paying your rent or your mortgage. Saving for college, grad school, a down payment, or retirement. Paying for fertility treatments. Paying for care for your aging parents. Paying for groceries, nice clothes, vacations, home renovations, and dinners out.
This is everything you want your money to do for you, and how much money is required to do all those things. Necessities, luxuries, everything.
This is very concrete.
No shame. No drama. No meaning.
It’s very simple — I need X amount of money on Y timeframe in order to get the concrete things I will not live without.
This is just how the machine works.
You may not be used to seeing money in such a neutral way. But this one of the things you’ll learn how to do in coaching — how to take things that feel emotionally charged and neutralize them so that you can see them more clearly and work with them more easily.
2: Money as an emotion-creator and identity-creator
Most people don’t think of money JUST as a tool to run the machine of their life.
Most people attach a lot of EXTRA meaning onto money.
They attach emotions to their money: Security. Safety. Abundance. Ease. Comfort.
And they attach identities to their money: I’m doing it right. I’m being smart. I’m keeping up with my peers. I’m sophisticated. I fit in.
These feelings and identities don’t have real numbers attached to them.
You may THINK they do — but then you get that amount of money and you still feel the same way you did before.
This is NOT like saying, “Once I have $10k, I’ll be able to buy this handbag. Cool, I have the $10k. Now I’ll buy this handbag. Exchange complete.”
This is saying, “Once I have $10k, I’ll feel like a rich and sophisticated person. I have the $10k. Wait crap, I’m still the same person I was, but now with $10k in my account. Why hasn’t this hole in my psyche been filled by this money??”
It’s very important to separate what amount of money you actually need to run the machine of your life in the way you want to.
Vs. any additional amount of money that is NOT earmarked for any specific purpose and only exists to make you feel a certain way about yourself.
There’s nothing right or wrong with using money to create emotions and identities. I’m not telling you to stop doing that, or to only do that a certain amount and no more.
I’m just telling you that you have a lot more OPTIONS to create those emotions and identities than just getting a certain quantity of money.
If you want to feel safe, secure, and taken care of…
Or free, unrestricted, and like you can do whatever you want…
Or rich, sophisticated, and like you fit in with your friends…
I’m all for feeling those things!
But starting from a place of “I’m NOT those things currently”…
And then hungrily, desperately chasing money…
(Or fearfully avoiding any possible risk to your money…)
And expecting the money to magically change the mental and emotional habits that determine of how you feel and who you are…
That is the LEAST effective way of creating the emotions and identities you’re looking for.
So get clear on how much money you need to actually live the life you want — very concretely.
And also get clear on where and how you are using money to create emotions and identities — not actual concrete things in the world.
Then start learning how to create those same emotions and identities with your brain rather than with the external circumstance of money.
So you can untether yourself from specific circumstances and give yourself MORE pathways to create the life you want.
(This is exactly what coaching is about — learning how to create beliefs and emotions with your brain, not with your circumstances, in order to give yourself more power, more ease, and more options.)
3: Your self-concept around creating, managing, and deploying money
What do you think about yourself as a money-maker, money-manager, and money-spender?
When it comes to making money…
Do you accept whatever the market tells you as a given: e.g., “I have some hard skills that are valued and I can get paid a lot for that. But nobody values soft skills, so I’m never going to be paid well for that even though I’m really good at it.”
Or are you confident enough in the value that you create that you can explain it to others until you find the people that are willing to pay you well for it: e.g., “I can make some money whenever I need it because I know the value of the skills I bring to the table, and there are always people who need what I have. I just have to do a little legwork find them.”
When it comes to managing money…
Do you shrink away from the task in shame: “Omg, I’m so behind on this. Ugh, it’s probably all going wrong. Better not even look.”
Or do you see it as an extension of your expertise: “I manage my responsibilities at work. I manage my house. I manage my health. I manage my money. It’s just another thing I’m on top of.”
When it comes to spending money…
Do you think of yourself as selfish or lackadaisical: “Oops haha, that’s me, always surprised by how much I spent!”
Or as thoughtful and analytical: “I always hunt for bargains, negotiate, and find the smartest way of getting the most bang for my buck.”
These are just a few options — there is an infinite range of things you can think about your ability to make, manage, and spend money well.
But the one thing that’s certain is this:
How good you think you are at making, managing, and deploying money will determine your level of creativity and persistence in solving money-related problems.
Because…
When you think you’re bad at something, you run away from it. You try to avoid it. You work on it in a rushed and haphazard way. You give up at the first obstacle. You try to get someone else to do it for you.
When you think you’re good at something, you do more of it. You seek it out eagerly. You work on it calmly, methodically, and in flow. You keep going through obstacles. And, while you definitely take in advice, you don’t outsource total responsibility for it to anyone else.
Notice that I didn’t say your current skill level or your current financial knowledge or your past results in making, managing, and deploying money will determine how well you’ll solve future money problems.
That’s not what matters the most.
What matters the most is how good you think you are at this.
Because when you think you’re good, you’ll go out and get more reps and improve your skills, knowledge, and results.
And learning how to believe new things that you’ve never believed before…
Not just “think” new things but really, truly believe them — including a belief like “I’m really freaking good at making, managing, and deploying money.”
…is one of the key things you learn in coaching.
These are the 3 pillars of thinking about money when changing careers.
1: Get clear on how much money you actually need, on what timeframes, for real, concrete things in your life.
2: Learn how to create money-related emotions and identities with your mind, rather than ONLY with money.
3: Build your belief that you are GOOD at making, managing, and deploying money (which leads to better money problem-solving, which lets you create more money whenever you need it).
So here’s what I want you to do next.
I want you to do an audit of where you stand on these 3 pillars today.
How clear and neutral of a picture can you generate, of your factual financial needs?
Where and how are you using money to create emotions and identities?
What do you think about your ability to create, manage, and deploy money?
How is your current state in these 3 pillars influencing your ability to create the life you want? Where is it empowering you, and where is it holding you back?
Don’t make this too sophisticated or complex. Just dump out your current state on a piece of paper.
And then, if your answers to those questions are anything less than an A+ in your mind, book a consult call and come talk to me about it.
Do NOT try to “clean your house before the cleaner comes” or “cure yourself before going to the doctor.” That’s a waste of time for everyone involved.
Do a 10-15 minute audit of your current state and then come talk to me about what you found, and let’s put together a plan for how you can get from where you are now to where you want to be.
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