How to turn your mistakes into superpowers
If you’re terrified of making mistakes, read this
Imagine that you were in grad school for your chosen professional field.
This is a field where your grades really matter — they determine the kinds of jobs you’ll be able to get afterwards.
And you’re working hard, studying diligently, doing your best to get amazing grades…
But despite your absolute best efforts, you end up getting a subpar grade in a class that really matters.
What would you do next?
My first instinct would be to run away and hide, NEVER tell anyone about the grade, and feel horribly embarrassed every time I uploaded my transcript to any job application.
Your first instinct might be the same.
Most high-stress high achievers HATE making mistakes.
They work VERY hard to avoid them.
And if a mistake does occur (which it inevitably will), they stress themselves out to no end and feel terrible about themselves.
I was listening to a podcast recently where someone was facing the exact situation I described.
They were in law school (a field where your grades definitely matter for your job prospects)…
And despite their absolute best efforts, they got a bad grade in one of their critical classes.
What they did next really surprised me.
They went and talked to their professor.
They worked with them to understand exactly what their gaps were and why they got a bad grade.
They made a plan to improve those skills and worked with the professor to do so.
The professor was so impressed with their dedication and level of ownership that they ended up writing one of their letters of recommendation for judicial clerkships.
And this student ended up getting one of the prestigious clerkships they applied for, partly because the judge called up this professor and was so impressed by how the student had reacted to their bad grade.
One of the main reasons that you’re scared of making mistakes…
Is that you think your mistakes will hurt the relationships you care about.
You think your mistakes are a vector of disconnection between you and the people you want to impress.
“If I get a bad grade, my teacher will think I’m stupid.”
“If I present a bad analysis, my manager will be mad at me.”
“If my team doesn’t crush it on this project, our client will lost trust in us.”
“If I do a bad job, I’ll be mad at MYSELF.”
(Because you, too, are one of the people you want to impress.)
And yes, a mistake CAN be a vector of disconnection.
But it can ALSO be a powerful vector of connection.
You just have to make it one.
So here’s what I want you to do—
Reverse the roles.
If YOU were the professor seeing someone get a bad grade in your class…
If YOU were the manager watching an analyst present incorrect analysis…
If YOU were the client and the engagement isn’t quite going right…
What would you want the other person to do?
What would that person have to do to regain your trust?
Chances are, your answer is something like…
That person would have to realize that something is going wrong.
They’d have to take ownership for what’s happening.
They’d have to develop a hypothesis for WHY this mistake happened and what needs to happen differently next time to prevent it.
They’d have to come talk to you and involve you in the problem-solving around how to do better next time.
And they’d have to demonstrably do better next time.
And if the other person did all of that…
You would probably walk away equally or MORE impressed than if everything had gone smoothly.
Not JUST because they did better the second time…
But because of the experience they created for YOU around their mistake.
They started problem-solving proactively instead of just awkwardly ignoring what happened.
They came with proposed solutions so you didn’t have to do all the work yourself.
They made it easy for you to give your feedback and input.
They didn’t make you emotionally babysit them — they took full ownership for what happened without going into a full-blown insecurity tailspin that YOU now have to manage.
They framed the whole thing as a one-time, solvable Process Problem (not an embarrassing, bone-deep Me Problem) — which means now, YOU see it as just a Process Problem too.
Yes, your relationship with this person broke a little when they first made the mistake…
But it came back STRONGER after they handled it like this.
Just like a Japanese kintsugi bowl that breaks…but then the crack is repaired in gold✨
This is the experience YOU can create too, for the people who are affected by your mistakes.
This is the experience you can create for YOURSELF, when you’re the one who’s upset by what you did.
Obviously, Plan A is to NOT make any mistakes.
I know :)
You’re not in any danger of suddenly making tons of mistakes just because of this article.
But mistakes ARE going to happen.
You’re going from good to great.
You’re going after expert-level pursuits, where you WILL fail a good portion of the time, even when you give your all.
Roger Federer won 80% of his matches…but only 54% of the points that he played.
He would get a B- on his match win-rate and an F on his point win-rate.
Not because he’s a terrible tennis player.
But because that’s just how hard expert-level pursuits are.
So rather than trying to avoid mistakes at all costs and going into a shame spiral when they inevitably happen…
Turn your mistakes into superpowers.
Turn your mistakes into vectors of connection with the people you want to impress – including yourself.
If you can do that, then you’re always in a win-win situation, whether you succeed or you fail.
If you’re anything like me, the fear of making mistakes or doing things wrong is one of the major fears in your life.
I want you to take a step back and think for a second…
How does this fear influence everything you do?
How does it impact how you do your work?
How you show up at a meeting?
How you decide what to do next in your career?
How you do your chores?
How you plan a vacation?
How you interact with your spouse?
How you raise your kids?
And what would your life be like…
If you were FREE of this fear?
How would you handle yourself differently at work?
How would you make career decisions differently?
How would you do chores differently?
How would you rest and unwind differently?
How would your marriage change?
How would your parenting change?
How would your relationship with yourself change?
I want you to really imagine being unshackled from this fear.
I want you to imagine standing up straight and being unafraid.
Who would you be?
Sit with that version of yourself for a minute.
Then, imagine being them all the time.
And then come talk to me, and let’s make a plan for making that happen.
That future version of you knows that you can do it. They know that you can get there.
They’re waiting for you on the other side.
And they’re going to be so proud of you for taking the first step.
What my clients have to say…
“My general happiness levels are higher. I have coping mechanisms during stress. My husband is seeing the results of it — I have a better married life with him.
Coaching has given me more inner peace and focus as to what are the things that I want and how to go after them without setting ceilings.
And it’s allowed me to get to the root of what it is that I want, and not just chase the next big thing.”
—Client | CEO, PE-backed company
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