If you're fighting a tough inner critic, here's 1 word to add to your vocabulary
If you have a tough and persistent inner critic (like I do!), it probably pelts you with critical thoughts all day long.
Here are some of the thoughts my inner critic likes to throw at me:
You’re so behind.
You don’t know what you’re doing.
You’ll never get everything done.
You’re doing this totally wrong. So embarrassing for you.
My inner critic is basically a full on Regina George from Mean Girls 😂
And of course, all of those thoughts don’t just float through my brain without making any impact.
All of these thoughts come with a feelings cocktail attached to them — tension, stress, urgency, anxiety, fear, etc. etc.
And listen. I have a lot to do every day.
I don’t have time to have a whole conversation with my brain every time one of these thoughts come up.
So here’s the one word I use to give myself a little slice of separation:
“Proposition”
When my inner critic says, “You’re so behind.”
I say, “Proposition: I’m so behind.”
When my inner critic says, “You don’t know what you’re doing.”
I say, “Proposition: I don’t know what I’m doing.”
When my inner critic says, “You’ll never get everything done.”
I say, “Proposition: I’ll never get everything done.”
When my inner critic says, “You’re doing this totally wrong.”
I say, “Proposition: I’m doing this totally wrong.”
When I add the word “Proposition” in front…
It helps me remember:
This is a thought, not a fact.
And as soon as I know that it’s a thought, not a fact…
I can take what my inner critic is saying less seriously.
I can let go of it a little more easily.
I can look back at my inner critic with a raised eyebrow and be like, “Okay,” and get back to work.
Now here’s the next thing people usually tell me.
They say—
“I get that it’s a thought, not a fact…
But I can’t just let it go.
Because this thought feels pretty true to me. What if my inner critic is right?”
If this is you, I want you to come talk to me.
Because here’s the lose-lose situation that you’re caught in.
On the one hand, you don’t want to let go of the self-critical thought, because you’re afraid it might have a grain of truth and you don’t want to let yourself off the hook.
On the other hand, these self-critical thoughts cause so much stress that you can’t do your best work, you fall more behind, and you can feel yourself burning out.
When we talk, we are going to break this lose-lose.
Book a call, and let me show you how.
Get a sample of what it’s like to work with me with free anonymized public coaching.
Or let’s talk about working together in my one-on-one coaching program…
So you can learn how to break free from the lose-lose of inner criticism once and for all.
What my clients have to say…
“I realized that you can learn just as much from your wins as from your losses.
When you have aspirations and big ambitions, it's really easy to be harsh on yourself.
What changed the game for me was realizing that being mean to yourself and making progress are not related to each other at all.
Actually, you can have a completely normal, healthy relationship with yourself and encourage yourself AND make progress.
I enjoy the process so much more now.”
—Client | Solutions Engineer at Fintech Company
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