Is It Wise Intuition✨ or Plain Old Fear 👻? Here's How to Tell.
It’s 8 pm on Sunday, and you think… I want to quit my job.
You’re on a date, and you think… I don’t want to see this person again.
You’re making the roadmap for next year, and you think… This strategy isn’t going to work.
All of these are first instincts.
But how can you tell whether it’s wise intuition that you want to listen to…
Or plain old fear that you want to question and redirect?
Here’s how.
If you’re asking this question at all, there’s probably already some fear mixed in.
The difference between wise intuition and pure fear-based thinking is WHEN the fear comes in.
When it’s wise intuition, you feel clarity first, THEN fear.
It’s 8 pm on Sunday, and…
Clarity first: I know this isn’t what I want to be doing. This job isn’t taking me where I want to go. I want to quit my job.
THEN fear: But what else would I do? How will I pay my bills? How will it look on my resume?
You’re on a date, and…
Clarity first: Something about this interaction is off. They’re giving me red flags. I don’t want to see this person again.
THEN fear: But it’s not polite to reject them. I’m being mean. I’m probably too sensitive.
You’re making the roadmap for next year, and…
Clarity first: We’re making assumptions about our customers that don’t make sense. We need to question our thinking. This strategy isn’t going to work.
THEN fear: Do I have the authority to make these kinds of changes? This is going to cause so much disruption. What if I’m wrong?
When it’s plain old fear, you feel fear first and only.
It’s 8 pm on Sunday, and…
Fear first and only: I can’t do this job. I’m so behind on everything. When are people going to realize I’m a fraud?
And therefore… I want to quit my job.
You’re on a date, and…
Fear first and only: They’re way too good-looking for me. They’re probably going to reject me. People are so shallow.
And therefore… I don’t want to see this person again.
You’re making the roadmap for next year, and…
Fear first and only: There’s no way I can hit these targets. I have no idea where to begin. Why did they put me in charge?
And therefore… This strategy isn’t going to work.
We can’t just look at the ACTION and tell whether it’s intuition or fear.
We have to back up and look at the thoughts and feelings DRIVING the action in order to figure out what’s going on.
Your automatic brain moves SO fast.
In a single instant, it will give you:
Its overall assessment of the situation
Any problems it detects in the situation
Its proposed solutions to those problems
AND the problems with its own proposed solutions
Your automatic brain is a huge gift to you.
We are the dominant species on this planet BECAUSE our automatic brains move so fast and produce such sophisticated analyses of what’s going on and what to do next.
The only problem is that your automatic brain doesn’t show you its work.
It just gives you the final answer…
AND a nice big shot of Strong Emotion to kick you in the pants and get you moving.
One of the main things we do in coaching is slow your automatic brain down and make it show you its work.
We find the answers to questions like…
1: What data did your brain look at, in order to come to its conclusion?
Because your brain DID look at data aka specific facts in order to come to its conclusion.
Your brain is not stupid or random. It’s always basing its conclusions on something.
You just need to uncover what that something is and see if you think it’s a good basis for coming to this conclusion.
2: What logical steps did your brain take, to come to its conclusion?
Because it DID take logical steps.
Again, your brain is not stupid or random.
It took a specific step-by-step path in order to get from A (the data) to Z (its conclusion).
We can uncover that path and decide whether or not you agree with it.
3: What assumptions and definitions did your brain use in its analysis?
Your automatic brain is operating within its own logical system.
It’s not stupid. It’s not random.
Your brain maintains consistent and coherent definitions and assumptions about the world.
That’s the only way it can make the messy, inconsistent, incoherent world make sense to you so quickly.
And we can uncover that automatic “This Is How The World Works” playbook in your head, take a good hard look at it, and decide what parts you want to keep and what you want to rewrite.
Your thoughts make sense.
Your instincts make sense.
YOU make sense.
And when you can understand the data your brain considered, the logical steps of its analysis, and the assumptions & definitions informing its viewpoint…
And when you can question and adjust any part of the analysis that doesn’t make sense or isn’t helpful to you.
You can combine the best of your automatic thinking with the best of your deliberate thinking to come up with the right answer.
You can work WITH your brain to decide what you want to do next.
So if you want to figure out what the right answer is in your situation…
Don’t get into a rush to find the answer outside of you.
Slow down and go within.
This isn’t mystical “prophet on the mountain top” advice.
This is just basic debugging.
And the hard part isn’t that it’s complicated or sophisticated or requires a PhD.
The hard part is seeing and questioning what’s “obvious.”
The hard part is being a fish, spending your whole life in the ocean, and noticing: This is water.
I became a customer of coaching because I wanted a structured, step-by-step way to solve my problems and feel better.
I didn’t want temporary relief from the symptoms.
I wanted to permanently address the root cause.
And the best, most unfailing way I’ve found of doing that is understanding what I’m thinking that’s causing my crappy feelings and current set of problems…
And then building and implementing a different way of looking at things, so I could feel better and figure out whatever was in front of me.
Not just once. But again and again in each specific situation where I ran into problems.
More than any other skill I’ve learned…
The skill of seeing and changing my most basic assumptions whenever I want to…
Has allowed me to build the life I actually want — brick by brick, day by day, step by step.
And if you want to learn how to do this too, then come join the waitlist for my 2023 course & coaching program—
From Imposter to “I Got This.”
The High-Stress High Achiever’s step-by-step guide to:
- Eliminate work stress and imposter syndrome
- Get clear + get moving on their next career step
- Create a life they love living
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