The 1 Mindset Shift Every Adult Needs

Photo by Andre Hunter on Unsplash

Have you ever believed (consciously or not) that: “If you’re really good, you’ll find a way to succeed, no matter what the circumstances”?

There is a time and place where this mindset will propel you forward…and a time and place where it will hold you back.

Let’s talk about the difference.

This mindset will propel you forward when:

1. You are still developing your grit, perseverance, creativity, and work ethic

2. Your setting is relatively safe and structured, and even the worst situation you could be put in is still acceptable, workable, and temporary

For example…

If you’re a student in a good school district, even the worst, meanest, most horrible math teacher in the school is probably still a pretty good math teacher (that you only have to deal with for one semester anyway).

So if you think her tests are too hard and she’s not being fair to you…it’s probably a good time for you to buckle down, study, and rise to the challenge rather than complain about her and demand to be transferred to another class.

Good schools, good colleges, and well-run professional training programs tend to be the kinds of places where the “If you’re really good, you’ll find a way to succeed, no matter what the circumstances” mindset is very helpful to people.

(This is certainly not true 100% of the time. But it is where a lot of us picked up this mindset, and often, it did serve us well!)

You’re still learning and growing, and a couple more character-building grit and perseverance lessons probably wouldn’t hurt.

And the setting is relatively safe. Classes and projects have familiar structures. There’s an agreed-upon rubric for evaluation. Even the worst teacher / professor / manager is probably somewhat competent. And you’ll be cycled on to the next class or project before too much time goes by.

When both those conditions are true, and you run into a challenge, it’s genuinely helpful to challenge yourself to rise to the occasion rather than challenging your setting to serve you better.

But when those conditions stop being true, you need to shift your mindset.

Most of us are well beyond our school and early professional days.

We’ve learned a LOT of lessons in grit, perseverance, creativity, and work ethic.

And our settings no longer have safety nets or guardrails.

Between bad project scoping, lack of investment, incompetent leadership, moving goalposts, and shitty bosses with no recourse to change their behavior, you can genuinely be set up to fail.

And in those situations, it’s time to stop telling yourself “If I was really good, I’d find a way to succeed anyway.”

Stop taking responsibility for things that are way out of your control.

Or beating yourself up for things that are not your fault.

In this setting, the “succeed no matter what” mindset is not propelling you forward — it’s keeping you stuck in a crappy place.

You’ve already proven that you’re a diamond.

It’s time to recognize that some people just don’t want diamonds…

…and to look for settings that show off how well you shine.

And if you want some help figuring out which situation you might be in…

…or just internalizing this message and actually believing it in your bones and not just in your head.

Come talk to me — I’d love to help :)

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