The 1 tiny thought that can flip you from stress to flow and back again
“It’s not possible.”
We’ve talked before about the two lanes in your brain — Stress Lane and Flow Lane.
You are the driver, driving your car down this two-lane road 🛣️ 🚗
Flow Lane is an absolute delight to be in — it’s smooth, fast, and feels like freedom.
Stress Lane is a nightmare to drive in — it’s bumpy, slow, and feels like death.
And Flow Lane is your brain’s natural lane!
That’s who you really are.
That’s where your brain wants to be.
This is the Real You — the truest essence of who you are and who you’re meant to be.
But sometimes, the tiniest little pebbles can knock your brain out of Flow Lane and into a tailspin in Stress Lane 🪨 🌀
Here’s one of those tiny little thoughts—
“It’s not possible.”
You’re working on a project plan for your team, and this thought pops into your head—
“I’m not going to be able to figure this out.”
And suddenly, you’re grabbing your phone, scrolling Instagram, and responding to emails that are totally non-urgent instead of doing the thing you sat down to do.
You’re swiping and messaging people on the dating apps, and this thought pops into your head—
“I’m never going to find my person.”
And suddenly, your messages get more clipped and impatient and you swipe left on everyone you see.
You look at your to-do list in the morning, and your first thought is—
“I can’t get all this done today.”
And then you start asking yourself if you should even be in this job and wondering what your purpose in life is.
Once this little pebble of a thought has knocked you into Stress Lane…
Your brain will suggest all kinds of shenanigans.
It will suggest: “Let’s just do something else — something that IS possible.”
Hence why you find yourself scrolling Instagram and playing Wordle and answering unimportant emails.
Or it will suggest: “Let’s pull back our efforts and try less.”
Hence why you find yourself getting snippy with people on dating apps and swiping left on everyone.
Or it will suggest: “Let’s think about BIG picture questions — maybe that will help us get our mojo back.”
Hence why you start rabbit-holing into questions like “What’s my purpose in life?” and “Should I find a new job?”
But let me give you this suggestion instead.
Instead of switching to something else…
Instead of pulling back your efforts…
Instead of opening an existential can of worms…
Recognize that the ONLY thing that has happened is that your brain has had the thought “It’s not possible.”
That’s it!
That’s the teeny tiny switch that has flipped you from flow to stress.
And you can use that exact same switch to go BACK from stress to flow.
Here’s how.
Stick with the task in front of you.
Stick with the project plan, the dating app, the to do list, etc.
Don’t jump to something else.
Stay here.
Create a VERY small and 1000% stupidly doable next step.
“Write the project plan” feels impossible?
Just open all the documents related to the project.
“Find my person” feels impossible?
Just swipe on 5 people and close the app for today.
“Finish all the stuff on my list” feels impossible?
Just look at the FIRST thing, open the email that’s related to it, and read what the other person said.
When you make the next step VERY small and STUPIDLY doable…
You don’t have to TELL your brain “This is possible.”
You are SHOWING your brain “This is possible.”
And your brain LOVES doing easy, simple stuff that’s 100% possible.
Your brain finds that incredibly satisfying.
And when you create those small, stupidly doable next steps for your brain…
You create an on-ramp back into flow.
If your brain tells you “It’s not possible” again — repeat.
Your brain is going to wobble and weave back into Stress Lane.
That’s 100% normal. It’s not a problem at all.
Just stick with the task.
Make the next step EVEN smaller if you have to.
And give your brain that on-ramp back into flow.
Coaching follows the same 4 step process every single time.
Step 1: We find the thought that has stressed you out and knocked you out of flow.
In this post, I took an educated guess that the thought “It’s not possible” is probably knocking you out of flow, and you may not even realize it.
If we work together, I won’t have to guess.
We can talk and pinpoint the exact thought that’s creating stress for YOU.
We can get the diagnosis RIGHT — which is the crucial first step for any kind of problem-solving.
Step 2: We offer your brain a thought suggestion.
In this post, I offered the thought suggestion of “make your next step very small and stupidly doable”…
With the aim that that small next step would SHOW your brain that this is possible and then your brain would switch back to believing “this is possible” on its own.
If we work together, I can teach you the 10 specific techniques I use to offer your brain a new thought suggestion.
You don’t have to start from scratch every time.
I give you a simple, concrete menu of options that you can draw from.
Step 3: We ask your brain “How does that resonate?”
In this post, you have to do that on your own :)
I’m not there to talk to you!
If we work together, we can have that back-and-forth live, together.
It’s okay if your brain pushes back on the first thought suggestion — pushback is productive!!
When your brain pushes back, we learn more about the logic that’s holding up your brain’s current perspective — which is great.
So we listen to what your brain has to say…
And then we offer another thought suggestion, based on what we just learned.
And we keep going back and forth with your brain until we find a new thought that resonates.
Step 4: Once the new thought resonates, we operationalize it in your day-to-day life
In this post, you have to do that on your own too.
I’m not there to help you make a plan for how you will apply this new thought in your day-to-day life, when your brain tells you “It’s not possible” again.
And I’m not there to assess what happened afterward. Did it work? Did it not work? What adjustments do we need to make?
If we work together, we can plan, implement, and troubleshoot.
Once we’ve found the new thought that resonates…
We’ve got to take it out “the lab” (aka the coaching session) and put it into the real world.
So we make a plan for how to do that. When is this old thought likely to pop up again? How can you remember to apply the new perspective we just found?
You go off for a week and implement on your own.
And then, crucially, we talk again the next week and assess how it went.
It’s totally normal for the real-world implementation to NOT work perfectly the first time!
That’s why we do a series of coaching sessions and not just one! :)
So in that next session, we’ll talk about how it went, understand WHY things didn’t go as planned, make the necessary adjustments, and then make another plan to try again the following week.
My posts can only give you a “pretty good” Step 1 and Step 2.
I’m taking guesses at the thoughts that are probably stressing you out.
And I’m giving you ONE thought suggestion that I think might help.
But if you’re only seeing my posts and not working with me…
I can’t find the exact thought that’s blocking YOU in your particular situation.
I can’t give you a custom thought suggestion for your specific situation.
I can’t ask you if my thought suggestion resonates.
I can’t go back and forth with you until you find the new perspective that DOES resonate.
I can’t help you make a plan to operationalize the new thought.
I can’t help you troubleshoot and adjust your real-world implementation over multiple reps, until the new way of thinking is on auto-pilot.
My one-on-one coaching program gives you all 4 steps, again and again.
Diagnosis, solution, testing, and implementation.
Until you’ve solved the problems you came to solve…
AND learned this toolkit well enough to do it on your own.
So come talk to me about joining my one-on-one coaching program today.
What my clients have to say…
“What I liked about Pooja’s approach was that she tackled everything at the same time, and she provided practical goals, which were really instrumental in changing my thinking.
I had always been a very intellectual person struggling with the practical stuff. And what I liked about her approach was that she gave me practical goals on a weekly basis.”
—Client | Communications Consultant turned Lawyer
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