The 2 Ways of Being Misunderstood
Hey guys!
First, I want to give you an update about the kind of content that you’re going to be seeing for the next few months.
I am hard at work on a digital course for all of you guys.
As I’ve been working with my one-on-one clients, I have found myself using the same concepts, frameworks, and processes again and again across multiple clients.
And I was like: “It is time to document all this, put it in a course, and share it more broadly with people.”
So that’s what I’m working on these days, which I am so excited (and nervous!!!) about :)
And while I channel all my creative energy towards the course, I’m not going to be writing the same kind of long, detailed, multi-step pieces that I normally post here.
I’m going to do something that I’m calling Session Snippets.
As I’m talking about different concepts and different problems in my client sessions, I’m going to start bringing some of that over here and sharing it with you.
So let me tell you about one of those right now.
Today, I was talking with a client about the feeling of being misunderstood at work — feeling like people don’t realize how much work you’re doing, how every request creates a lot of spin or effort for you.
Basically, people just aren’t appreciating how hard you’re working.
And the concept we talked about is: There are two ways of being misunderstood.
One way of being misunderstood is: People literally don’t have the information to be able to understand you.
They don’t know how hard you’re working.
They don’t know that their one request is creating a full week of work for you.
They don’t know how you’re feeling, or what you’re up to.
This way of being misunderstood is an information gap.
You didn’t even give them the chance to understand because you didn’t share what was really going on with you.
The second way of being misunderstood is not an information gap. It’s more of an interpretation gap.
You’ve shared all the information.
They know exactly what you’re working on, how much time it’s taking you, how you’re feeling.
There’s no information gap anymore. They just have a different interpretation.
You’re thinking, “I'm going so above and beyond. You should be appreciating this.”
They’re thinking, “This is your job.I’m not impressed by this.”
That’s a totally different kind of being misunderstood.
And a lot of times, what I find when I’m working with clients is…a lot of them are in that first category of being misunderstood.
Where it’s like, “Well, hang on, you haven’t even given them the chance to understand you yet because you haven’t shared all the information with them yet.”
So it’s just a question for you to think about today.
If you’re feeling misunderstood, ask yourself:
Have I shared all the information I possibly can with the other person and given them a chance to understand?
And if I haven’t, that’s where I can start.
PS—
This is what it looks like to solve your work stress — not just survive it.
If you liked this…then you’ll love coaching with me.
What my clients have to say…
“I think the biggest transformation is not hating my brain. Now, I work with it and am like, ‘Oh, right, it's doing this to protect me. Thanks, brain!’ I love that I have this relationship with my brain that's like a partnership.”
—Client | CEO, PE-backed company
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