The magic sweet spot that maximizes your chances of success
And a 3 step process for finding it
So much of getting (and keeping) the things you want is about finding the sweet spot.
The sweet spot where you have enough stress that you’re taking yourself seriously and putting your best thinking toward the problem…
But not SO much stress that you crumble under the pressure, short-circuit your brain, and are constantly in fight-or-flight mode.
The sweet spot where you have enough belief that getting what you want is possible, such that you’re motivated and energized to go after it…
But not SO much belief that you think it’s inevitable and you start lazing around, waiting for the universe to deliver you a miracle.
The sweet spot where you’re putting enough energy toward the pursuit that you make consistent progress every day…
But not SO much energy that you burn yourself out or only move forward in inconsistent bursts.
So let me give you a 3 step process for finding that sweet spot for your pursuit.
Whether you’re gunning for a promotion, trying to hit a sales goal, launching a business, working on your health & fitness, or trying to find your life partner…
This process will work for you :)
Step 1: Find sufficiency in the worst case scenario
“If I don’t get promoted this cycle…
I’ll talk to leadership to understand why, make a plan, and try again next cycle.
Okay! That sounds totally fine. In that scenario, I will still be okay.”
“If my new business doesn’t make enough money to replace my current salary…
I’ll find another corporate job in my current field.
Okay! That feels doable. In that scenario, I will still be okay.”
“If I don’t find the person I want to marry…
I’ll build community and sense of belonging through my friends and family and make plans to adopt or have a child as a single parent.
Okay! That’s not so bad actually. In that scenario, I will still be okay.”
Take your time to do this step.
Really define what your worst case scenario would be.
Adjust your plans if the worst case seems too big — make your pursuit smaller, less risky, and more reversible if you can, so the worst case doesn’t scare you as much.
And really develop a sense of sufficiency and okay-ness around your worst case scenario.
Because one of the most dangerous thoughts you can have while pursuing a goal is…
“If I don’t get what I want, I will not be okay.”
This thought SEEMS like it should motivate you to work extra hard and get what you want.
But for most people, this thought actually pushes them OUT of the sweet spot.
It’s TOO much stress. TOO much desperation.
TOO much dependency on a single outcome. TOO many eggs in one fragile basket.
And once you’re out of the sweet spot in the “too much stress” direction…
You make unrealistic all-or-nothing plans that set you up to fail.
You don’t analyze and learn from your mistakes in a calm and coolheaded way because the very thought of making a mistake puts you into a panic.
You don’t deliver your best performance because you’re constantly in fight-or-flight.
And even if you manage to claw your way to the goal…
It’s very hard to KEEP what you got because you’re too burned out to maintain it.
(And everything requires maintenance — whether it’s a promotion, a business, or a relationship.)
So get back into the sweet spot by finding sufficiency in the worst case scenario.
Step 2: Set a timeframe for going after your best case scenario
Now that you’ve defined and found sufficiency in your worst case scenario…
Give yourself a set amount of time to go after your best case scenario.
“I’ll gun for this promotion for the next six months.”
“I’ll give myself 2 years to grow my business to a level where it replaces my corporate salary.”
“I’ll give myself 5 years to find my life partner.”
Step 3: For that timeframe, cultivate 100% belief that your best case scenario is possible
Once you’ve found sufficiency in your worst case scenario…
You’re not falling out of the sweet spot in the “too MUCH stress” direction…
But you can fall out of the sweet spot in the “too LITTLE stress” direction…
That would look like…
“Eh, if I don’t get promoted in this cycle, I’ll still be okay. So let me pull back a bit — it doesn’t really matter if it happens now or later.”
“Eh, if I don’t replace my corporate salary with my business revenue, I’ll just get another job anyway. That’s probably what will happen, so let me just do some half-hearted efforts to get customers and then call it a day.”
“Eh, if I don’t find a partner, I’ll just have a family by myself. I’m fine with that outcome. So why even go out on dates?”
Falling out of the sweet spot in the “too little stress” direction isn’t helpful either.
It reduces your chances of success — just as much as being on the “too much stress” side does.
So how do you hold both ideas in your head at once?
“If I don’t get what I want, I will be totally okay.”
AND
“I’m going after what I want whole hog with no holdbacks.”
Here’s how.
For the timeframe that you’ve given yourself…
Put all thoughts of your worst case scenario out of your mind.
Put it on a shelf and close your eyes to it.
It is no longer an option that you think about, consider, or mentally fall back on.
For the next X weeks, months, or years, that option does not exist.
And cultivate your belief that your best case scenario is 100% possible – that it’s simply waiting for you to reach out and take it.
The easiest way to do this?
List out all the reasons your brain thinks that your best case scenario ISN’T possible.
And then address every single one of those reasons, as if you were a lawyer on the opposing side of a case.
When I was first starting my business, I did this exact exercise.
My brain told me, “Your coaching business isn’t going to be a success because…”
People can get therapy for cheaper than coaching
Many people can get coaching for free through their companies
Coaching is hard to explain to people that haven’t done it before
I’m just starting out and am not an experienced coach yet.
And about 10 or 15 other reasons. This is just a subset.
And I sat down and wrote a counter-response to every single reason.
“People can get therapy for cheaper than coaching.”
This is sometimes true but not always! I know people who pay for out-of-network therapists because they like them better than their in-network options.
Also, coaching is different from therapy. Even if you’re working on the same problem, I would tackle it differently than a therapist would, so I would be adding value and being helpful in a different way than a therapist would.
“Many people can get coaching for free through their companies.”
This is true. But I’ve done coaching sessions with people who had used their company’s coaching offering, and they told me they preferred my approach.
That doesn’t mean I’m a better coach than them. But it does mean that every coach doesn’t work in the exact same way.
I have a specific technique and methodology that I’m using, that might be different from the in-company coach’s approach.
So it’s still possible for people to choose to work with me instead of the free in-company option.
I just have to explain to people what my approach is like and help them compare approaches and make the best choice for them.
Etc. etc.
And I worked my way down the whole list until I was completely convinced that it was possible to build the business I wanted to build.
Not inevitable. Not easy. Not quick. Not a simple walk in the park. But possible.
This takes time.
I did not work through this list in a few minutes — it took a few hours over several days.
And this takes maintenance.
This was not a one-and-done exercise for me.
My brain STILL offers me lots of reasons why I’m not going to succeed, on a daily or weekly basis.
And I still sit down and flip those reasons around until I’m back in a “this is possible” headspace.
And it’s worth it. Because…
When you know that you’ll be totally okay even if you don’t get what you want…
AND you know that getting what you want is 100% possible…
Then the pursuit of your goal becomes play.
It becomes fun.
It becomes flow.
So come talk to me and learn how to find that sweet spot for your goals.
And learn how to come back to that sweet spot when your brain and the world knocks you out of it.
Learn how to surf the wave and come back home, again and again.
My one-on-one coaching program teaches you a step-by-step process for doing this.
And gives you all the hands-on support you need until it’s done :)
What my clients have to say…
“Some weeks, I have a very specific thing that is troubling me, and I'm excited to talk about it.
And there are other times where I came in and I didn't quite know what I wanted to talk about, and those were the sessions where Pooja was able to help me unpack something that I didn't even know was there.
It surprised me that I didn't have to do all the work in advance to come in with the agenda of what I needed to talk about, and that there are nuggets and insights to get, no matter how clearly I even see the problem coming in.”
—Client | Early-Stage Tech Startup Director turned Design Consultant
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