The Only 2 Kinds of Mistakes
Here are the two types of mistakes:
Knowledge gaps: You did what you genuinely thought was best at the time, and it led to an unwanted result.
You followed the business strategy that you thought would work. But you didn’t hit your metrics.
You set up the schedule you thought would let you get it all done. But everything took longer than you expected.
You thought you needed the second plate of food. But now you feel gross.
Nervous system gaps: You knew what what you had to do, and you just didn’t do it
You know you have to get up early the next day, but you hit “next episode” and stay up late anyway
You want to be nicer to your spouse, but you find yourself snapping at them before you can catch yourself
You know you’ll feel better once your laundry is folded, but you keep putting it off
Now, let me say this loud and clear:
Both types of mistakes are PROCESS problems, not YOU problems.
Neither type of mistake means you’re stupid, or lazy, or are never going to get the things you want.
These are just two different kinds of process breakdowns that can occur.
So here’s how I want you to react the next time you make a mistake:
What kind of mistake was it?
Really break this down step by step, for every decision you made. Did you act based on your best knowledge at the time?
Your brain will want to say, “But I should have known better.”
It’s not about what you should have known. That’s a fantasy.
It’s about what you did know, at that time. You can’t go back and give yourself the knowledge you have now.
So based ONLY on what you knew THEN, what kind of mistake was it?
If it was a knowledge gap…
Great! You just learned a bunch of stuff and you’ve gotten even better.
What did you learn? How will you adjust next time?
We thought customers really care about X but turns out, they care about Y. Let’s adjust our strategy to focus on Y.
I thought it would only take an hour to get everyone ready, but it actually takes three hours. Let me adjust the schedule based on that.
I thought I was still hungry, but I actually wasn’t. Next time, let me wait 15 minutes after the first plate and then decide whether I need more food or not.
If it was a nervous system gap…
So if you know what to do, but you’re not doing it, all that means is that you’re thinking and feeling something in the moment that is blocking you from doing what you want to do.
And that, too, is just a process problem.
So what were you thinking and feeling that prevented you from doing what you wanted to do? And what can you think and feel instead?
I’m thinking “I deserve a break” and feeling rebellious, which causes me to watch TV instead of going to bed. How can I see going to bed as the real break that I deserve?
I’m thinking “You’re criticizing me” and feeling insulted, which causes me to snap at my spouse. How can I see what they did as just a symptom of their stressful day, which has nothing to do with me?
I’m thinking “Folding laundry is so boring” and feeling resistant, which causes me to put it off. How can I make folding laundry fun?
The less time you spend in “beat myself up” land over mistakes, the faster you will solve them.
Mistakes are NOT a reflection of your self-worth as a human being.
And you are too good and too advanced at what you do to waste your time self-worth-boo-hoo-ing when you could be exercising your genius to just fix the process in front of you.
All mistakes are just process problems.
And there is no one better than YOU to get in there and solve them.
This is just one of many ways that coaching can help you clear your head and access your best problem-solving power.
What problem do you keep spinning on?
What mistake have you not been able to figure out?
What thing do you want to just solve and be done with already?
Bring it to me, and let’s get it done.
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