To find love, be polarizing
Let’s apply dating advice to your career 💘
This Valentine’s Day… 💘
Let’s take one of the best pieces of dating advice I’ve ever heard and apply it to your career.
The best dating advice I’ve ever heard is:
Be polarizing.
Don’t say, “I like brunch and traveling” on your dating profile.
Everyone likes brunch and traveling.
That is a mild and inoffensive opinion that will make most people say, “Cool, sounds good 👍”
Instead, say, “I’d rather get a dog than have a kid” (if that’s true for you).
That is not a mild and inoffensive opinion.
That is an opinion that is likely to elicit strongly positive AND strongly negative reactions.
It will either make people say, “Wow, I love it 😍” or “Ew, what’s wrong with you? 😡”
And that is a good thing.
Because when you lean into the parts of yourself that are the most polarizing…
You elicit “hell yes” or “hell no” reactions from everyone you meet…
The market rapidly sorts itself around you…
And you find your best match quickly and easily, while feeling true to yourself every step of the way.
Vs. when you only present the parts of yourself that are mild and inoffensive…
And you try to buff down the sharp edges of your polarizing parts to MAKE them mild and inoffensive…
You elicit a “sounds good 👍” reaction from everyone you meet…
The market never sorts itself around you — everyone just seems “fine.”
It takes you ages to find your true best match, AND you feel like you’re suppressing your true self every step of the way.
Now, let’s apply this advice to your career.
To find a career you love…
To build your career around your flow…
Lean into the parts of you that are polarizing.
So ask yourself: What’s polarizing about you?
What are the aspects of you, at work, that some people LOVE, and some people HATE?
Perhaps you’re very structured and organized in everything you do.
And some people LOVE that you have a 3 point agenda to every meeting and a 6 point checklist for every decision…
And other people HATE that you can’t just be free-flowing and go with the vibes.
Perhaps you love to take big risks and push the boundaries.
And some people LOVE that you’ll see a new idea and you’re willing to bet the house on it…
And other people HATE that you won’t just follow the plan and be conservative.
Perhaps you love big picture thinking and hate nitty-gritty implementation.
And some people LOVE your brilliant ideas and frameworks and insights…
And other people HATE that you didn’t fill out every box in the template and didn’t get Form 3B turned in on time.
Building your career around your flow means building your career around your strengths.
But, contrary to what you might expect…
Your strengths are often NOT universally loved and praised.
Your strengths are often polarizing.
So as you look for the strengths you want to build your career around…
Don’t look for the parts of you that everyone loved.
Look for the parts of your that are polarizing — the stuff that some people LOVED and other people HATED.
And put a stake in the ground around THAT stuff.
Because that’s what you should build your career around.
If you want to keep brainstorming about what your polarizing strengths are…
And how to build your career around them…
There are two ways you can work with me ✌🏽
One: Drop by for a coffee chat! ☕️
No strings attached.
Let’s just have a chat about your situation, and I’ll try to be as helpful as I can be.
Because I can talk about this stuff all day long :)
Two: Let’s map out a coaching engagement 🗺️
Let’s make a plan to not only identify the strengths you want to build your career around…
But also evaluate how well your current role is playing to your strengths and letting you spend your time in flow…
And, if the answer is to move on to something else, let’s figure out how to navigate that transition and get you to the right next spot.
What my clients have to say…
“I would really recommend Pooja to anyone who has imposter syndrome or is feeling a bit lost in their careers.
Anyone who feels like they need some guidance to get them out of a rut or generally needs a change.”
—Client | VP at Major Financial Institution
Did you know I have a full table of contents, where all my work is categorized by topic, so you can easily find what you need right now? Check it out below! :)
As part of my mission to share coaching tools as widely as possible, my newsletter is completely paywall free and available to all.
You can support this publication (and make my day!) by subscribing and sharing it with anyone you think would find it helpful. Thank you for being here :)
💻 Website | 📸 Instagram | 👩🏻💻LinkedIn | 🎧 Podcast | 💌 Newsletter | 👋🏽 Free resources