What Indian Vegetarian Food Taught Me About Creating The Life You Want
What are the Big Life Milestones that you think you’re supposed to hit?
For many people, it’s things like:
Find a spouse
Buy a house
Have kids
Reach a certain level in their career by a certain age
And you feel like you have to get one (or all) of those things in order to Really Be An Adult. To graduate from where I am now to where I’m supposed to be.
But what do you do if you’re NOT hitting the milestone?
Or if you’re not even sure that you WANT the milestone anymore?
That could sound like…
“I thought I would be married by now, but I don’t like any of the people I’m meeting.”
“I thought I’d be a director by now, but I’m not even sure I like this career path anymore.”
“Maybe I don’t want to have kids.”
You don’t feel strongly motivated to get to the milestone. But life also feels a little “off” because you think that you’re supposed to have it.
And so your brain wonders: Whats’s wrong with me??
Here’s how the difference between Indian food and American food helped me understand this phenomenon (and how to break out of it).
A plate of American food often looks something like this: Clearly delineated portions of protein, starch, and veggies.
A plate of Indian food has a different format. Many people look at Indian vegetarian food and ask: But where’s the protein?
Here’s the secret: There’s plenty of protein on this plate! It’s just mixed in with other things instead of being in one big chunk.
These Big Life Milestones are like the big hunk of chicken on the first plate.
Your brain thinks that it’s all or nothing.
Either you have the big hunk of chicken on your plate, or you’re getting no protein at all. Either you have the Big Life Milestone, or you’re getting no success at all.
But there are a lot of ways to get protein, that don’t look like one big hunk of chicken!
And there are a lot of ways to get the things you think the Milestone will give you without needing the actual milestone.
Here are the two questions you need to ask yourself to figure out how. (I’m using having kids as a hypothetical example, but insert your own milestone and answers for yourself!)
Question 1: What do I think having kids will give me? What’s the “protein” I’ll get from having kids?
I’ll feel a sense of love, family, and connection.
I’ll get to nurture someone and help them grow.
I’ll get to leave behind a legacy that survives me.
Question 2: How can I get those things in my life today? How can I “mix the protein into” my life right now?
I can get love, family, and connection from my friends, my family, and the communities I belong to. And if I want more, I can invest more in them.
I nurture and help people grow when I mentor my team at work. And if I want more, I can spend more time doing that, or find more places to mentor people.
I’m already creating my legacy through my work and my hobbies. And if I want more, I can focus in on a few projects and make them my legacy.
This is not to tell you that you shouldn’t go after your Big Life Milestones, or that there’s anything wrong with pursuing them.
This is just to tell you that it’s not as black and white as you think.
You have a lot more options than you realize.
And if the quest for one particular milestone is long or arduous or just not that appealing anymore…
That doesn’t mean you can’t still get what you want.
One big hunk of chicken is not the only way to get protein.
And achieving that one milestone is not the only way to feel the way you want and do the things you want and be the person you want to be.
You might even find that the original milestone is not even the best way to get what you really want!
You might find out that you like an adai better than chicken! Or that you prefer mentoring lots of adults to raising 1-2 children. Or that you can get better support from 10 friends than you can from one spouse.
There are a lot more ways to get what you want than you realize.
And there are no better or worse ways to get it — no tradeoffs between the different avenues.
Which is better — Indian food or American food?
Neither. They’re just different formats for getting the same nutrients.
And so, my friends — relax.
You can absolutely create the life you want.
Even if the promotion’s not coming. Or the housing market is impossible. Or Prince Charming is nowhere to be found.
You have so much more control and agency than you realize.
All you need to do is identify the protein and mix it in to your life as it already exists.
PS: Answering these two questions and putting the answers into action is not difficult.
So if you’re NOT doing it, chances are that a fog of emotion is stopping you. What is that emotion? Confusion? Inadequacy? Fear? Self-doubt?
That is the real problem you need to work on. That emotion — and the thoughts, beliefs, and stories creating that emotion— are the real thing holding you back from creating the life you want.
Don’t navigate this fog alone. It’s way harder and it takes way longer to figure it out by yourself.
Why stumble around in the dark when you have access to someone who can flip the light on, grab your hand, and show you the exact map out of here?
Come talk to me, and let’s clear the fog and get to work.
📫 Question box | 📸 Instagram | 💌 Newsletter | 👋🏽 New? Start here