Where your inner critic comes from and what to do about it (part 1)
Inner critics are scary on two different levels.
They’re scary because of the content of what they’re saying.
When an inner critic whispers…
“You don’t know what you’re doing.”
“You’re so behind.”
“Get your shit together.”
“Why the heck did you do THAT?? That was so stupid!”
All of those are pretty scary thoughts to have running around your head.
AND they’re scary because it can feel like there’s something wrong with you for even having an inner critic in the first place.
When you step back and look at this inner voice that’s whispering insults at you all the time…
You can start to wonder…
“What’s wrong with me?”
“Why do I hate myself so much?”
“Do I have some kind of disease?”
“Did I have a really horrible childhood?”
“Am I just…broken?”
There are two layers of fear.
The thoughts your inner critic is giving you are scary…
AND your own thoughts ABOUT the fact that your inner critic even exists are also scary.
The Layer 1 fear is: “Something is wrong with me.”
(^ This comes from the content of what your inner critic is saying.)
And the Layer 2 fear is: “Something is wrong with me for thinking that something is wrong with me.”
(^ This comes from your own thoughts ABOUT the fact that your inner critic even exists.)
The first thing I want to tell you is that these kinds of double layers of emotions are really, really common.
Your brain is really good at having thoughts.
And your brain is also really good at having thoughts about its own thoughts.
Nothing is going wrong here.
Your brain is working perfectly correctly.
The second thing I want to tell you is that, when I see these double layers of emotion in my clients, I like to work from the outside in.
I like to work on the Layer 2 fear first.
The Layer 2 fear usually causes 50-90% of the pain that someone is feeling.
And the Layer 1 fear is way easier to tackle when you don’t have a fearful Layer 2.
If your Layer 2 (your thoughts about your thoughts) is chill, normalizing, compassionate, curious, and generally has a vibe of “This is normal and not a big deal”…
Making Layer 1 changes is a breeze.
If your Layer 2 (your thoughts about your thoughts) is fearful, judgmental, shameful, resistant, and generally has a vibe of “What the fuck is wrong with me for even having this thought in the first place”…
Making Layer 1 changes is really, really hard.
So here’s what we’re going to do over the next two days.
Tomorrow, we’re going to work on Layer 2.
Tomorrow, I’m going to give you an argument for why there’s nothing wrong with you for thinking that there’s something wrong with you.
I’m going to tell you why the fact that your inner critic exists and whispers mean things to you all day long…
Does NOT mean that you have some kind of toxic self-hatred within yourself, that you have a disease, that you had a horrible childhood, or that you are fundamentally broken.
And I’m going to tell you why the fact that your inner critic exists and whispers mean things to you all day long…
Is actually totally normal and not something to be worried about.
I’m going to tell you exactly where your inner critic comes from — how it formed and the forces that formed it.
On Friday, we’re going to work on Layer 1.
Because after you’ve seen the source of your inner critic and the forces that formed it…
It’s also also going to become pretty clear what you need to do to shake yourself free of it.
And I’m going to give you a simple, easy, drop-dead doable practice…
That you can do in literal seconds every day…
That will put your inner critic to bed, for life.
You don’t want to miss this series.
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Part 2 ➡️
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