Why You Don't Do The Things You KNOW You Should Do
This tweet is super relatable.
Did you know it also contains a profound lesson?
Here’s the lesson:
You don't act based on what you know.
You act based on the current level of stress in your nervous system.
This is why you can know exactly what you’re SUPPOSED to do or WANT to do in a situation…and still not do it.
It’s not because you’re lazy or stupid or something is wrong with you.
The only thing that happened was that in that moment, the level of stress in your nervous system blocked you from doing it.
You FELT something that made it hard or impossible for you to take the action you wanted to take.
This is why you plan to eat healthy today…but end up ordering a pizza at night.
You resolve to be kinder to your spouse…but still snap at them when they do that annoying thing.
You say you’ll do that thing you’ve been putting off…but the time comes and you procrastinate it one more day.
Nothing is going wrong when this happens.
This is NOT a sign that you’re weak or dumb or lazy.
All that happened was in that moment, a FEELING came up that drove you to act the way you acted. That’s it.
It’s as simple and neutral as the gears in a machine. Turn the dial one way, get one output. Turn the dial another way, get a different output.
And where do your feelings come from?
They do NOT come from your schedule or your spouse or your to do list.
Your feelings come from your thoughts. From your INTERPRETATION of your schedule, your spouse, and your to do list.
So if you want to take a different action in the moment…
You do NOT need to “power through” or be stricter with yourself or try harder next time.
You do NOT need to stress out your nervous system even more. That’s just turning the dial even harder in the direction that’s not working.
You need to understand what you’re thinking that is causing you to feel this way right now. To fully see how this machine works — what levers and gears are causing the current output.
You need to build a new perspective that clicks — that changes the way you feel and what you feel like doing. Try new configurations in the machine until one of them gives you the output you want.
You need to apply that new perspective in every relevant situation. Go in and manually turn the dial dozens of times until it becomes automatic.
And you need to stay patient with your mental machine.
There is lag time in this process. For a while, there will be a gap between what you know intellectually and the default settings your mental machine loads in the moment.
And all you have to do is keep manually turning the dial, again and again. Do it enough times, consistently, and the machine will take over and make it automatic. The default settings will change.
If you can do those four things…
Understand what you’re thinking now, that’s NOT working for you
Build a new perspective that clicks and that creates the results you want
Apply that new perspective consistently where you need it
Stay patient and persistent through the lag time in this process
You can do anything you want.
You can learn how to eat healthy even on your most stressful days.
You can treat your spouse with kindness even when they’re being annoying.
You can get things done, even when you don’t want to.
You can tackle hard, ambiguous questions, even when you’re not sure how to find the answer.
You can chase your biggest dreams, even when you’re afraid of failing.
You can live a life 100% true to YOUR vision, even when you’re afraid other people will disapprove.
This is the work of your life.
This is the only way that the results you want get tangibly created.
This is the only thing you need to know to create the exact life you want to be living.
Don’t wait another day. Let’s get started.
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