Worried About What Other People Think? Here’s Your Shortcut.
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Here’s an exercise that I love doing with my clients:
I’m going to give you a really harsh insult. Are you ready? Steel yourself. Here we go.
I can’t believe that you have TWO eyebrows. Don’t talk to me until you shave one of them off. I only respect people with ONE eyebrow, on HALF of their face ONLY.
So far, no one has burst into tears when I said this to them. Mostly, they just seem to giggle.
But really notice how your brain reacts to that insult.
Doesn’t that sentence just ping right off of you, with no impact whatsoever?
If someone really said it to you, it would probably just reduce your respect for the person who said it. It would never impact your opinion of yourself.
Here’s the lesson contained within this exercise:
Other people’s opinions cannot hurt you unless you agree with them.
So here’s what you’re going to do, next time you’re worrying, “But what are people going to think?”
Step 1: Answer the question. What are you afraid that people will think?
“People will think I’m lazy. People will think I’m entitled. People will think I’m making a huge mistake.”
Step 2: Rewrite the sentence to say, “I’M afraid that I am…”
“I’m afraid that I’m lazy. I’m afraid that I’m entitled. I’m afraid that I’m making a huge mistake.”
Step 3: Examine the opinion and decide if you agree.
“Okay! That’s a proposition. What do I think? AM I lazy? AM I being entitled? AM I making a huge mistake? I can examine the evidence and decide what I think.”
You can’t do anything about other people’s opinions. But you can always examine your own opinions and decide if you agree with them or not.
And when you’re super solid in your own opinion of yourself, what you’re doing, your decisions, and your life…
Someone randomly coming up and telling you what THEY think will just make you giggle.
And if your brain is pushing back and insisting that it needs to worry…
Come talk to me and let’s sort it out :)