You are exactly where you’re supposed to be.
Failing? Fucking up? Don’t worry. You’re right on track.
If you are trying to be a successful comedian…
And you just told a joke that you were SURE was going to work…
But it landed totally flat and got nothing but crickets…
And now you want to jump out of a window and quit comedy altogether because you’re so embarrassed…
You are exactly where you’re supposed to be.
This is not a sign that you’re on the wrong track.
This is a sign that you’re on the RIGHT track.
Every great comedian has experienced this exact same phenomenon.
And they have felt absolutely horrible while it was happening.
And they have wanted to jump out of a window and quit comedy too.
So don’t worry. You are exactly where you’re supposed to be.
If you are trying to be a really good manager…
And you just had a tricky conversation with someone on your team…
And you wanted to be curious and helpful… But you got annoyed and defensive and probably didn’t make the situation any better.
And now you’re frustrated with yourself and wondering if you’ll ever be able to get the hang of this…
You are exactly where you’re supposed to be.
This is not a sign that you’re on the wrong track.
This is a sign that you’re on the RIGHT track.
Every great manager has experienced this exact same phenomenon.
And they have felt low and frustrated while it was happening.
And they have wondered if they’ll ever be able to do this too.
So don’t worry. You are exactly where you’re supposed to be.
If you are trying to build a successful startup…
And you’re doing everything you can think of to reach new customers…
And sales are not coming in, and you feel like nothing is working…
And you’re so embarrassed about how this is all going, and wondering if you should just quit…
You are exactly where you’re supposed to be.
This is not a sign that you’re on the wrong track.
This is a sign that you’re on the RIGHT track.
Every great founder has experienced this exact same phenomenon.
And they have felt like running away and hiding while it was happening.
And they have wondered if they should just quit already.
So don’t worry. You are exactly where you’re supposed to be.
One of the most painful things we tell ourselves when something isn’t working…
Is “This shouldn’t be happening.”
“I am off track.”
“Maybe I shouldn’t be doing this at all.”
“Because if I was the kind of person who was good at this — the kind of person who was likely to succeed at this — then this wouldn’t be happening to me.”
But here’s the big fat secret about success.
The only difference between a successful person and a failure is that the successful person has a BIGGER mountain of fuck-ups behind them.
And they have felt terrible through every single one.
I’m not telling you to feel amazing about your fuck-ups.
I’m telling you to let yourself feel terrible about them…
AND to know, at the same time, that you are exactly where you are supposed to be.
I want you to notice the difference between these two Mental Modes.
“This shouldn’t be happening” Mode.
Vs. “I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be” Mode.
How does each Mental Mode feel in your body?
What emotion does each Mental Mode generate?
What do you feel like doing next, in each Mental Mode?
What outcomes and results do you think each Mental Mode will create?
The single most important factor that determines whether or not you will get the things you want and feel the way you want to feel…
Is which Mental Mode you are in.
And the reason we stay stuck and unable to break through in our problem-solving…
Is because we keep asking “What do I need to DO to solve this problem?”, while being trapped in a Mental Mode that is never going to reveal the solution.
Rather than asking, “What Mental Mode am I in, that’s creating this problem in the first place?”
And then changing our Mental Mode so that we can see new solutions.
This is exactly what coaching helps you do.
We identify the Mental Mode you’re currently in, that’s creating this problem in the first place.
And we change your Mental Mode so you can see new solutions.
And if you’re wondering “But HOW do we do that??” come talk to me and let me show you how.
You can drop by anytime for a no-strings-attached coffee chat ☕️
It’s not a sales pitch.
It’s just an opportunity for us to discuss whatever’s on your mind…
And I’ll offer some one-off coaching and brainstorming about your situation.
Or you can book a consult call, and we can map out a full coaching engagement.
So you can systematically learn the skill of pulling yourself out the Mental Modes that keep you stressed and stuck…
And putting yourself into the Mental Modes that power your best performance and feel like flow :)
What my clients have to say…
“It’s honestly fun.
You’re working on the most important thing in your life — your goals and your aspirations.
And you’re doing it in a manner that is not harsh or strict. In fact, it’s quite fun.
It’s like a video game, and you get to gently make progress towards the things that matter.”
—Client | Solutions Engineer at Fintech Company
I help high performers build their careers around flow.
This requires…
Internally, learning how to access your flow no matter what’s going on around you (or inside you)
Externally, designing a career strategy that angles your flow at a high-priority problem that someone will pay you good money to solve
Tactically, navigating the transition from the role you’re in to the role you want
Today’s article focused on #1.
For more writing on all 3 of these, check out my table of contents.
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