7 ways to maintain your identity through failure & setbacks (part 1)
Yesterday, in the intro to this series, I started talking about the fact that how you think about yourself when you lose determines how long it will be until you win.
It’s easy to believe that you’re smart, competent, successful, and on top of things when things are going well…
The real challenge is when setbacks happen, you fall flat on your face, and things start going “off track”…
NOT letting that change of circumstance turn into a change of identity…
…but rather maintaining your identity as that same smart, competent, successful, on-top-of-things person…
…so you can troubleshoot, problem-solve, and right the ship as quickly and effectively as possible.
So over the next several posts, we’re going to talk through 7 ways to maintain your identity through failure & setbacks.
Way #1: You have unlocked a next-level problem.
It’s easy to use the fact that you’re facing a setback or problem as proof that you’re not good enough.
Your brain may believe:
Smart, successful, on-top-of-things people don’t face this problem.
Only dumbass lazy butts face this problem.
And I’M facing this problem right now.
Therefore, I’M a dumbass lazy butt.
When you’ve just become a VP, and the first initiative you try to launch flops…
When you’ve been been on a great streak of healthy habits, and then you come back from vacation, and you just can’t get back on track, for months and months…
When you were so excited about your startup idea, but now you’ve gotten 20 no’s from investors in a row…
Your brain will try to tell you:
A GOOD VP…
A REAL healthy person…
A GREAT founder…
Wouldn’t face this problem at all.
Your brain is wrong.
You haven’t slid backward or revealed that you’re fraudulent.
You have unlocked a next-level problem.
The first level problem is figuring out how to get promoted from director to VP.
The NEXT level problem is figuring out how to be effective as a VP.
Struggling to be effective as a VP doesn’t mean you’ve backslid or don’t deserve to be here.
It actually means that you’re working on the elite, next-level problem that is only available to people who have solved the first level problem.
The fact that you’re facing this problem isn’t a sign that you’re a fraud.
The fact that you’re facing this problem is a sign that you’re an elite performer.
The first level problem is figuring out how to get a healthy habit streak in the first place.
The NEXT level problem is figuring out how to get back to those habits (or maybe even an adjusted version of those habits) after coming back from vacation.
Struggling to get back into the groove doesn’t mean you’ve backslid or that your previous success wasn’t legitimate.
It actually means that you’re working on the elite, next-level problem that is only available to people who have solved the first level problem.
The fact that you’re facing this problem isn’t a sign that you’ve gone backwards or “lost it.”
This is the exact problem that athletes and lifelong healthy people work on — how to keep returning to these habits throughout a long, varied, ever-changing life.
The first level problem is coming up with a startup idea that you have conviction in.
The NEXT level problem is figuring out how to pitch it effectively to investors.
Getting 20 no’s doesn’t mean you’re not meant to be a founder.
It makes you MORE of a founder than ever — because you’re working on the elite, next-level problem that is only available to people who have solved the first level problem.
All those no’s don’t mean that you don’t belong.
All those no’s mean that you’re right in the middle of founder land, working on the EXACT problem that top founders work on.
(After all, the founder of Canva, a massively successful product that I use daily in my business, got rejected over 100 times before she secured funding.)
I’ve given you the template.
Whatever problem you’re currently facing, whatever setback or failure has your brain convinced that you are not who you want to be…
Rewrite it using this template.
The first level problem you’ve already solved.
The next-level problem you’ve unlocked as a result of solving that problem.
And how having this problem in front of you is a sign that you’re in the big leagues, rubbing shoulders with the pros, part of an elite club that very few people get to be a part of.
“I’m not good enough” is a very high priority problem in your brain.
When that problem rears its head, all your mental resources get diverted there — either to ruminating and what-if-ing and building this story up bigger in your mind OR to avoiding the pain this story causes by procrastinating, numbing out, or just plain giving up.
Way #1 (and all 7 ways) are a way to put the “I’m not good enough” problem TO BED.
So your mind and your heart and your courage and your smarts are fully freed up to work on the problem at hand.
I’m not the kind of coach that tells you what to do.
I’m the kind of coach that helps you clear your own mental blocks so you can access the answer that’s already in your brain.
You don’t need anyone else’s blueprint.
You only need the skill of clearing your own emotional cobwebs and trusting in the self-sourced wisdom that’s shining underneath.
This is a skill that pays off for the rest of your life.
So come talk to me, and let’s start building it today.
⬅️ Intro || Part 2 ➡️
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