No Such Thing As An Obstacle

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Earlier, we started a conversation with a fictional client about her very real problem — she hates her job.

Let’s keep that conversation going (with a quick recap of where we left it off).

Client: So I guess what I really need is a corporate strategy-type role at a smaller company.

• I want a more senior title so I can have a team that does the legwork

• I want to be in a strategy function so I have the authority to have strategic discussions

• I want it to be a smaller company so I can stay close to the execution, without being in some ivory tower like most corporate strategy teams are.

Is that the kind of job I should look for?

Coach: Yes, that makes a ton of sense, and using these criteria to filter future jobs is a great call.

Here’s my other push for you though–

Imagine you are the “the corporate strategy genius,” or whatever you want to call her. You’re kicking butt every day, people are clamoring for your advice, you’re adding tons of value, and you’re feeling amazing.

Now imagine THAT version of you gets thrown into your current situation. Everything is on fire. Her team is swamped, so she’s having to pull data herself. She’s rushing around day to day. And no one in the company wants to think about the bigger picture right now.

How does THAT version of you handle this situation? What does the corporate strategy genius do?

Client: Oh, I get it! You’re saying that I need to practice figuring things out. I could change my circumstances, but if I’m in the habit of finding obstacles and running away, then I’m just going to get better at finding obstacles and running away.

But some obstacles are self-imposed and some aren’t, right? How can I tell the difference between an obstacle that’s just in my head and one that’s really an obstacle?

Coach: You’re going to hate this answer, but…all obstacles are in your head.

Client: No, that can’t be right. There’s so much stuff I can’t control! I have to spend all my time doing boring work that’s way below my paygrade because we don’t have the budget for a team and our internal infrastructure is terrible. That’s not in my head — that’s real.

Coach: You doing that work is real. You having to do that work — I think you know that’s a thought, but I’ll even give you that for now. Let’s say you actually have to.

Deciding that having to do that work is an obstacle — that’s your choice.

Honestly, the way you’re describing it — someone could easily say “that’s my dream job!” You’re getting paid an executive level salary for doing easy, brainless work, and the company is so badly run that even if everything fails, no one will blame you. I mean, can I have that job?

Client: Oh, come on. Maybe someone who’s lazy and has no ambition would want that job (no offense). But it’s not the kind of job I want.

Coach: I think we’ve found the root of the problem. That’s your unhelpful thought — this is not what I want.

Client: But that’s true! This isn’t what I want.

Coach: What are all the things in this job that you wish were different?

Client: I wish I had a team. I wish the leadership didn’t keep changing their mind about what they want. I wish we were organized differently; the team interactions make no sense today. I wish they had invested in the basics; we can’t even do the simplest things right. I wish I had more time. I wish I cared enough to fix all this stupid stuff, but I don’t.

Coach: Okay! That’s a good list. But let’s get really clear about what’s happening.

Every time you say “I wish,” your brain is hanging out in the gap between what is and what you want it to be.

It’s taking all its amazing problem-solving power, and it’s focusing on explaining how and why and to what degree this is NOT what you want. At this point, you could probably write a ten-page paper on how much this job sucks and every root cause that made it this way.

Client: Yeah, I probably could.

Coach: Now here’s something that’s way more helpful than thinking “I want” and “I wish.”

“This is.”

I don’t have a team. I disagree with the leadership’s decisions. We are organized how we are organized. We have invested in what we have invested in. I have 24 hours in a day. I only have so much energy to care about things.

That’s what is. Now what do you want to do about it?

Take all that problem-solving energy that’s tied up in “I want,” and turn it toward “This is. Now what?”

Because that’s what I mean when I say that all obstacles are self-created. One person’s obstacle is another person’s dream situation! All there is in the world is facts that exist, and choices you make about how to handle them.

There’s no such thing as an obstacle. There are only decisions.

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Photo by Michael Rosner-Hyman on Unsplash