This mental trap will make you FEEL like you’re not making progress…
…even when you are
There’s a mental trap — a cognitive illusion — that people fall into…
And it makes people FEEL like they’re stuck in the same spot, circling around and making zero progress…
Even though they’re actually making TONS of progress.
I call this trap: Same Feeling, Different Problem
Let me give you an example.
When I was in college, I struggled a LOT with productivity.
I would frequently look at my to-do list, think “I can’t do this!!”, feel totally overwhelmed, and then frantically procrastinate (which only made the problem worse of course).
I now realize that my brain wasn’t saying “I can’t do this!!” just randomly.
My brain was running a super-fast automatic calculation in order to come to that conclusion.
AND I now realize that my brain had a bunch of faulty math going into that calculation, which is why it kept coming to that conclusion.
That faulty math was…
I set the bar too high for what the final product had to look like
I didn’t make the first step small enough to make it feel doable to get started
I didn’t make realistic estimates of how long things would take to get done
So the calculation my brain would run when it looked at my to-do list was…
This paper has to be the most brilliant thing I’ve ever written +
The first step is to read every book we were assigned in this class +
Everything needs to get done tonight
Given that math, of course my brain would output the conclusion:
= “I can’t do this!!” Overwhelm!!!
In the many years since college, I have made significant updates to the math my brain uses in its to-do list calculations.
I’m good at setting a reasonable bar for success.
“This has to be good enough to ship, not perfect.”
I’m good at making the first step “stupid doable.”
“The first step is: open the document.”
I make very realistic assessments of how long things will take to get done.
“I think this is going to take 2 hours to write. Let me give myself 3 hours just in case.”
And yet, I will sometimes still feel overwhelmed by my to-do list and think, “I can’t do this!!”
Now here’s the trick.
I’m having the exact same emotional experience I had in college. I FEEL like I’ve snapped back to 2009 and have made zero progress since then.
AND at the very same time…
The REASON my brain is coming to this “I can’t do this!!” conclusion is totally different. I’ve actually made a LOT of progress since 2009.
Because NOW when my brain outputs the assessment: “I can’t do this!!”
It’s NOT because:
I set the bar too high for what the final product had to look like
I didn’t make the first step small enough to make it feel doable to get started
I didn’t make realistic estimates of how long things would take to get done
I’ve long since updated all that math in my head.
NOW, if my brain thinks “I can’t do this!!” it’s usually because:
I’m missing crucial information I need to get started, so I need to go find that information
External factors have moved my schedule around, so I need update the plan for the day
This is a completely different set of reasons for my brain to tell me “I can’t do this!!” and feel overwhelmed.
This is NOT me snapping back to my college days at all.
I’ve actually made a TON of progress since that time. I’m no longer making those old mistakes.
But it’s very, very easy to FEEL like I haven’t made any progress…
Because the emotional experience of having my brain tell me “I can’t do this!!” and get overwhelmed is EXACTLY the same as it was 15 years ago.
Even when the underlying reasons are completely different.
So where are you feeling like you haven’t made any progress…
(When you actually HAVE made progress!)
…because of this cognitive illusion: Same Feeling, Different Problem?
Maybe you used to cancel plans last-minute all the time just because you didn’t feel like going…
And now, you’re actually very good about keeping your plans unless you’re genuinely ill!
But you FEEL the same sense of guilt when you cancel a plan when you’re not feeling well…
And because the emotional experience is the same…
You think you’re repeating the same patterns and stuck in the same spot.
When actually, you’re not at all!
You’ve made lots of progress and are a meaningfully different person now!
Maybe you used to stay too long in bad-fit relationships, hoping the other person would change…
And now, you actually move on pretty quickly when it feels like it’s not working!
But you FEEL the same sense of disappointment when you realize that a relationship isn’t right for you…
And because the emotional experience is the same…
You think you’re repeating the same patterns and stuck in the same spot.
When actually, you’re not at all!
You’ve made lots of progress and are a meaningfully different person now!
Maybe when you were pretty new at your job, you would miss things or not know things, and people with more experience would quickly be able to point it out to you…
And now, you’ve gained a lot of experience, and when you miss something or don’t know something, the people with more experience didn’t see it coming either!
But you FEEL the same sense of panic and imposter syndrome when you run into something you didn’t know…
And because the emotional experience is the same…
You think you’re repeating the same patterns and stuck in the same spot — you think you’re still the hapless newbie that’s about to be found out.
When actually, you’re not at all!
You’ve made lots of progress and are a meaningfully different person now!
Here are the simple tenets we use again and again to create less stress and more flow in your life.
1: The world is not stressing you out. Your brain’s assessment of the world is stressing you out.
2: Your brain moves very, very fast in constructing its stressful assessments of the world.
3: Coaching helps you slow your brain down and SEE the logical steps your brain took to construct its stressful assessment.
4: Coaching then helps you ADJUST your brain’s logic so that it stops creating so many stressful assessments.
5: When your brain is less stressed, comes out of fight-or-flight, and disarms its protective mechanisms… What’s left is flow — aka, your true self.
6: Once you’re in flow – once you’ve found your way back to your true self again – you can figure out whatever is in front of you, piece of cake 🍰
And here’s the best part…
You don’t have to spend years getting a PhD or achieving spiritual enlightenment to do this.
You can learn how to do this while working your day job and taking care of your family and doing all the things you do today.
I’ve developed a simple 5 step process you can use to coach yourself out of stress and back into flow again and again, on a repeatable basis.
I call it SNACK :)
(Because when you’re stressed, what’s better than a snack?)
In my course and coaching program, I’ll teach you this process step by step.
And then I’ll be available for 3 months of hands-on coaching and implementation support until you know the process in your bones.
This is a crucial life toolkit that we should have all been taught in grade school.
And I don’t want you to go even one more day without it.
Join the program waitlist today :)
What my clients have to say…
“Even in our first consultation, Pooja will hear me go on and on about various topics and then she’ll be able to, in one sentence, say something that gets me unstuck or feels like it is the crux of the whole cobweb of stuff that's in my head.
I think that's very rare and very special.”
—Jenny Xia Spradling | Founder & Co-CEO, FreeWill
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