Unrealistic Plans Are Just Like Crash Diets
Crash dieting messes with your hunger signals.
When you eat way too little…
You’re super hungry
The pain of hunger creates tension and pressure, which needs to be released somehow
When you finally say “fuck it” to relieve the pressure, you go WAY overboard. You don’t just want a slice of cake — you want the whole cake.
You didn’t want a whole cake before you started the crash diet.
But the restrictiveness of the diet messed with your hunger signals, and now you want things that are WAY out of line with your goals (a whole cake) instead of wanting things that are easy to incorporate into your goals (one slice of cake).
The same thing applies when you’re setting up your plan to achieve any goal.
Whether it’s…
Clearing your to-do list
Nailing the morning routine with young kids
Making a strong start in your new job
Studying for a test
If your plan is very strict and rigid…
Everything gets done as quickly as possible
No breaks, no buffer, no allowances of any kind
An “I’m finally getting my shit together” perfectionist fantasy
Here’s what’s going to happen:
The plan doesn’t fit your actual needs — so you’ll get “super hungry”
The pain of not having your needs met creates tension and pressure, which needs to be released somehow
When you finally say “fuck it” to relieve the pressure, you go WAY overboard. You don’t just want a break. You want to quit your goals and run away.
You probably didn’t want to run away before you started your unrealistic plan.
But the restrictiveness of the plan messed with your genuine “want” signals, and suddenly you want to become a hermit in the woods.
Unrealistic plans, like crash diets, pervert your heartfelt dreams into Sisyphean nightmares.
We talked last week about how genuine wants can get twisted into exhausting should’s in your mind.
Unrealistic planning is how that happens.
When you’re stuck in this loop, it seems like you only have two options:
Give up on what you want and admit defeat OR
Keep powering through this miserable slog
But what you really need to do is normalize your want signals again.
Underneath all the pressure of unrealistic planning you WANT to do everything to achieve your goals.
Just like how, under the pressure of all crash dieting, your body WANTS to eat balanced meals and be satisfied (not stuffed).
The deepest, more innermost part of you is NOT lazy or undisciplined or unmotivated.
At your core, you WANT to do everything necessary to achieve your goals.
All you need to do is normalize your “want signals” and rediscover the genuine desire that’s already within you.
And the #1 best way to do that?
Stop making plans that look like this:
And start making plans that look like this:
That is: Plans that are realistic, doable, flexible, and FUN.
Plans where your brain’s complaint (because it will have a complaint either way) is “This is too easy” instead of “This is too hard.”
If you’ve been stuck in the loop of unrealistic planning for a long time…
Your brain will work against you on this because it feels very unintuitive.
We’re completely flipping the logic that you’ve been operating on for years.
So it’s normal that your brain may freak out and want to go back to the plate of peas at the first sign of a problem.
So if you’re finding it hard to actually make realistic plans…
And that “crash dieting mentality” keeps sneaking in…
Hire a coach.
You need a voice of reason to look at your situation objectively.
A thought partner to help you brainstorm and troubleshoot as you iterate on your plans.
A cheerleader to keep you going when things get tough.
And a teacher to show you how to process and manage the emotions that will come up as you do this.
If you’re ready to stop “binging and restricting” on your goals and start making steady, consistent progress that actually feels good every step of the way…
Then come talk to me and let’s get started.
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