4 Simple Steps to Solve Any Problem, Achieve Any Goal, and Create the Life You Actually Want (part 3)
So we’ve been talking about the only 4 steps you need to solve any problem, achieve any goal, and create the life you want to be living.
Diagnosis: How did your thinking create the current situation?
Brainstorm: Play time! What else could you possibly think here?
Implement, one half: How can you fully believe and consistently apply that new way of thinking?
Implement, other half: How will you react when your old thinking pops up again?
We took an example…
You went out for dinner with your friends, and you planned to have fajitas and one glass of wine.
But then you actually ate all the chips, the deluxe quesadilla, two margaritas, and the chocolate-stuffed churros.
In Step 1, we diagnosed that the reason I did what I did is that I was thinking “Screw it, I deserve to have fun” and feeling rebellious.
The restaurant, my friends, the food — no external circumstance was to blame. What created this situation was my thoughts and my thoughts alone.
In Step 2, we started trying on other thoughts! What else could I possibly think in this situation? How did those thoughts feel? What did I want to do when I felt that way?
I tried on 3 thoughts. 1 didn’t resonate. 1 was pretty helpful. 1 was my favorite. The most helpful thought was:
Sticking to my plan is how I have it all. (Feeling: Empowered)
Alright! We diagnosed the problem. We came up with a solution. Now how the heck are we going to actually implement?
Because coming up with the strategy is not enough! Feeling good for a few minutes while journaling and reflecting doesn’t get the job done.
You ALSO have to actually apply the thought in the moment and take the action you want to be taking.
And applying a thought in the moment requires two things: belief and habit.
You need to actually believe the new thought, at least a little bit. A pie-in-the-sky thought that totally doesn’t resonate with you is not helpful. (We’re not in the business of mindlessly repeating mantras here.)
And you need to practice applying that thought to these kinds of situations, so that in the heat of the moment, the new thought has a chance of winning out in your internal marketplace of ideas.
We’ve already worked a bit on belief in Step 2, because we checked how each new thought made me feel. We basically asked my automatic brain: “Hey, do you believe this? Does this resonate?”
And then we picked the thought that resonated the most.
Now how are we going to practice? I’m not leaving this up to chance. How can I get reps on applying this thought a BUNCH of times before I go out to eat again?
Here’s one thing that came to mind: I can consciously apply this thought every time I eat a meal.
I don’t need to wait until the next time I go to a restaurant and then just wildly hope that I’ll remember this thought and happen to apply it in the moment.
I can start practicing today.
I can get into the habit of being the kind of person who thinks this way.
I eat minimum three meals a day. (Often more.)
I probably have a week before I’ll go out to eat again.
That’s 21 reps at least that I’m going to get before I ever set foot in a restaurant again.
This is not the only thing you can do to practice a new thought. This is just one example.
But this is a crucial question you have to ask yourself.
After you’ve diagnosed. After you’ve come up with a solution. How are you going to APPLY and IMPLEMENT? How will you PRACTICE?
Because (as you’ve heard me say before) thoughts are habits.
Coming up with an awesome-feeling thought once is usually not enough.
(Every once in a while, a new perspective will so fully blow your mind that you’ll never think the old thought again. I’m not saying it doesn’t happen.)
But often, you love the new thought…and you STILL need to practice actually applying it in the moment.
And guys, this does NOT have to take a bunch of time out of your day.
Make it simple, easy, and stupid doable.
How much time does it take for you to think one sentence? To really believe it and step into that feeling? Five seconds? You have five seconds. You can work that into your existing routine. You can figure it out.
And here’s what’s going to happen next… As I practice, and definitely once I actually go back to the restaurant.
My brain is going to give me a whole bunch of backtalk. It’s going to resist. And complain. And argue. And sulk.
How do I deal with that? That’s exactly what’s coming up next.
PS: Want to jump right to the end? Want to work on YOUR problem, not this example? Want to get started right now on achieving your goals and creating the life you want? Then come talk to me and let’s go.
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4
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