7 Assumptions That Have Gotten You This Far…But Are Now Holding You Back (part 2)
On Wednesday, we talked about the first assumption that’s gotten you this far…but is now holding you back
Old Assumption 1: There’s a clear path that I’m supposed to follow.
New Assumption 1: I decide what I want. I choose my tradeoffs. I create my own certainty.
Today, let’s dig into the second assumption.
Old Assumption 2: First, I define a goal. Then I make a plan. Then I execute the plan.
Why this assumption has served you so far…
While you were on the prescribed path, doing those things that “most people do,” the goal and the process for achieving the goal was often pretty clear.
It’s not that it was easy. Getting good grades, getting into schools, getting promoted — all that stuff is hard! But you had a fairly clear idea where you were trying to go and what you needed to do to get there.
And when you’re in that situation, making a plan and executing it is a great idea!
…and why it’s holding you back now
But that’s not where you are anymore! You’re at the end of the prescribed path, remember?
Now, you might not even be sure what the goal is. And whatever it is, you definitely don’t know how to get there.
And if you keep your old assumption, it can keep you stuck for YEARS:
Spinning around in intellectual exercises trying to figure out what you want
Stressing out trying to make a plan when there are way too many unknowns
Getting frustrated when that plan doesn’t seem to go anywhere
Coming back to “What do I even want??” and having no more clarity than you did when you started
And none of this means that you’re an idiot, or that you don’t know what you want, or that you can’t figure this out.
All it means is that you’re hanging on to an unhelpful assumption.
When you are trying to solve an equation with so many unknowns, you don’t need to plan. You need to DO.
You cannot figure all of this out in your head. You literally don’t have the data you need to decide exactly what you want or how you will get there.
The best way to gather data and gain clarity is to do small, concrete, stupid doable things until the goal and the plan emerge on their own.
Let me give you an example of some of the small, stupid doable things I did that eventually led me here:
Write without stopping on the question “What is my purpose?” for 2 minutes every morning for 2 weeks. Look for common themes.
Make a list of 10 times that I felt really in flow and was just loving my work. Look for common themes.
Write down 100 things about me. Look for common themes.
I did these 3 things over the course of about 6 months. There was seriously no plan here.
But from this, I realized that I wanted to be an expert in something, use my knowledge to help people, have intellectual independence, and be a writer in some capacity.
That’s it. I didn’t know what I wanted to be an expert in. Or who I wanted to help. Or what kind of writing I wanted to do. Or how any of this would make any money. Nothing was clear except for those four pretty-freaking-vague goalposts.
And if I was still using the old assumption, I would have stopped right here! Because there is no clear goal and no way to make a plan just from knowing this much.
Instead, I picked the next stupid doable thing:
Write something (anything!) and send it to someone
I started by emailing a handful of friends a couple times a week. After ~15 pieces, I noticed that I kept talking about coaching. After many MORE pieces, I felt certain enough to sign up for a coaching certification. And months after that, I decided to launch my business.
And I STILL have a lot of stuff I don’t know! What’s my niche? Who’s my target customer? How will this scale? What does success look like? I still have only the vaguest idea of the answers to those questions.
How much time am I spending thinking about it? No more than 5%.
How much time am I spending picking stupid doable things, doing them, and assuming the answers will become clear at some point? At least 95%.
And by the way, this doesn’t just apply to changing careers. It applies to any situation where you want to change but the goal and/or the process are not yet clear. Want to break a habit? Improve a relationship? Adjust to a life change? Just feel better day to day? Same process applies.
So if the old assumption was First, I define a goal. Then I make a plan. Then I execute the plan., here’s the new one:
New Assumption 2: I focus on DOING and FINISHING small, concrete things. Once I do enough things, the goal and the plan will emerge on their own.
PS: It took me almost a year to figure out how to do this on my own. It doesn’t have to take nearly that long for you. If you want some guidance, structure, and accountability for getting off your butt and getting this done, come talk to me :)
Parts: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7
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