1 Question to Make Your Day Easier
What’s making your day tough right now?
Are you staring at your to-do list and berating yourself for not getting more done today?
Are you frustrated that your coworkers just won’t do the simple things you ask them to do?
Are you frozen up, staring at a blank word document, thinking “AHH I don’t know what the next step is!”
I’m going to give you one question that’s going to make your life easier.
How do you already have what you want?
I don’t mean in a broad “gratitude list” kind of way. Don’t start listing your house and your health and that kind of stuff.
I mean specifically — with regards to the exact problem in front of you.
What do you want? And how do you already have it?
You want to get more done. How have you already gotten a lot done? How are you already on top of things?
You want your coworkers to be easier to work with. How are they already easy to work with? How are they already easy to persuade?
You want to know what to do next. What do you already know? What are you already clear on?
Focus your brain on this question. Let it simmer. Come up with the whole list.
And let it change how you FEEL about the problem in front of you. Let the shift happen in your body.
Because here’s the reality about whatever problem is in front of you.
It’s not about what you DO to solve it.
It’s about what MODE you’re in while you’re solving it.
It’s about whether you’re in Surplus Mode or Deficit Mode.
The essence of Deficit Mode is…
“I’m below baseline. Things are bad. I need to get above baseline as quickly as possible.”
Whether the deficit is in yourself… “I’m bad at this. I haven’t done enough. I don’t have enough experience.” etc.
Or in others… “They’re idiots. They’re trying to screw me. They don’t like me. They don’t value me.” etc.
Or in the path in front of you… “I don’t know what to do. This is confusing. This is complicated. There are painful tradeoffs.” etc.
When you’re in Deficit Mode, you can do plenty of problem-solving! You can take lots of action when you’re in this place.
It’s just that your problem-solving will be heavy, laborious, complicated, and less effective.
Chances are you’ll take lots of action…and feel burnt out as hell and like you’re not making any progress.
The essence of Surplus Mode is…
“I’m already above baseline. Things are good. I’m just going from 100 to 110.”
Whether the surplus is in yourself… “I’m good at this. I’ve already done enough. I have plenty of experience.” etc.
Or in others… “They’re smart. They’re coming from a reasonable place. They like me. They’re on my side.” etc.
Or in the path in front of you… “I know exactly what to do. This is simple. This is easy. I can get everything I want.” etc.
When you’re in Surplus Mode, you’ll do plenty of problem-solving too.
AND your problem-solving will be light, fun, simple, easy, and incredibly effective.
Try it for yourself with the problem in front of you!
How do you attack your to-do list when you’re thinking, “I’m so behind on everything” and feeling overwhelmed…
…versus when you’re thinking, “I’ve already gotten so much done today” and feeling proud?
How do you talk to your coworkers when you’re thinking, “They’re so hard to work with” and feeling frustrated…
…versus when you’re thinking, “They’re smart and reasonable people” and feeling calm?
How do you write up your document when you’re thinking, “I don't know what the next step is” and feeling confused…
…versus when you’re thinking “I know more than enough to get started” and feeling confident?
The way you’ll see the problem, the actions you’ll take, the decisions you’ll make — and how you’ll feel along the way — are like night and day.
So many people spend all their time unconsciously in Deficit Mode.
Your automatic brain is honed to be in Deficit Mode! This is totally normal.
It can even feel familiar and comfortable to always be thinking about what’s wrong, what’s not enough, and what’s not working.
Your brain thinks there is safety in constant vigilance.
You may even think that Deficit Mode is what fuels you to take action.
But I’m here to tell you that, even though you DO take lots of action in Deficit Mode, the action you take is LESS effective than the action you could be taking in Surplus Mode.
When you’re believing that you’re already the person you want to be.
That you already have everything you need.
That the people around you are exactly who you need them to be.
That the answer you’re seeking is clear, simple, obvious, and totally doable.
And everything feels light, fun, easy, low-stakes, playful — like icing on the cake.
When you’re in that mode — that’s when you actually do your best work.
I’ll be honest — I’ve only give you half the answer.
You also need to bridge the gap and believe that you already have what you want.
And that’s exactly what I help my clients do.
I know your brain is already giving you chatter and resistance and counterarguments to the idea that you already have what you want.
That is exactly what I help you untangle.
It’s a tough conversation to have in your head by yourself.
And a really easy one to have with a coach.
Just lean back and give me all of your resistance.
I’ll do the heavy lifting :)
And together, we will bridge the gap. Once. Then again. Then again.
Until the bridge we’re building is totally solid.
And until you’ve learned the skill of building this kind of bridge again and again any time you need it.
PS — And if you want to get started bridging the gap on your own, check out my series: 7 Ways to Believe Something New (parts 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | epilogue)
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