7 Ways to Believe Something New (part 6)
Guys, we’re almost at the end! We’ve talked about five different ways to believe something new: (1) put it in your mental filter and find evidence everywhere, (2) find things that are going well and use them as reference points, (3) find the most damning piece of evidence and rewrite the story, (4) break down your brain’s logic chain, and (5) reverse the roles.
Now, onto #6:
6: Zipline it
Let me tell you about the first time I went ziplining.
You know that thing where they strap you into a harness, clip the harness to a cable high up off the ground, and you slide along the cable with nothing but a little pulley to support you? It usually looks something like this:
Ziplining is incredibly safe. I knew it was safe when I signed up to do it.
And I felt completely safe while I put on my harness, and got clipped to the cable, and the guide checked all the fastenings.
And then the guide said, “Great! Go ahead and jump off the platform.”
As I stood there on the platform, about to jump off, my brain was screaming one thing at me: DO NOT JUMP OFF THIS PLATFORM! YOU WILL DIE!!
And in that moment, I learned a lot about how to believe something new.
Here are three unhelpful beliefs I have:
Ziplining: DO NOT JUMP OFF THIS PLATFORM! YOU WILL DIE!!
Dating: You say “no” to too many people. Something is wrong with you.
Time: You don’t have enough time. You’ll never get all this done.
And I know, intellectually, that these beliefs are not true. Ziplining is safe. Saying “no” to people I don’t like is good. I have plenty of time to get everything done.
But in the moment? When I’m standing on the zipline platform, or looking at the dating app, or staring at my calendar? All that intellectual knowledge goes out the window, and my brain is screaming.
So what the hell am I supposed to do? How do you convince your brain to believe something new when it’s completely freaking out at you?
Here’s what I tried:
What is my brain saying right now?
What do I want to believe?
If I believed that, what would I do?
Then fuck it, let’s just do it…
…and immediately use the action as evidence for the new belief.
So when I’m standing on the zipline platform…
What is my brain saying right now? DO NOT JUMP OFF THIS PLATFORM! YOU WILL DIE!!
What do I want to believe? Ziplining is safe.
If I believed that, what would I do? Jump off the platform
Then fuck it, let’s just do it… Me: Jumps. Brain: AAAAAHHHHHH!!
…and immediately use the action as evidence for the new belief. See? How fun was that? Doesn’t this feel amazing? Ziplining is totally safe! It’s actually FUN!!
And when a guy I’m not interested in texts me asking for another date…
What is my brain saying right now? You say “no” to too many people. Something is wrong with you.
What do I want to believe? It’s good to say “no” to people that you don’t like.
If I believed that, what would I do? Text him “It was great to chat, but I don’t think this is a match.”
Then fuck it, let’s just do it… Me: Sends the text. Brain: AAAAAHHHHHH!!
…and immediately use the action as evidence for the new belief. See? Doesn’t this feel GREAT? Isn’t it amazing how you don’t need to talk to him now? This feels SO MUCH BETTER than scheduling another date!
And when my calendar is jam-packed and my boss pings me with yet another request…
What is my brain saying right now? Wtf? I don’t have enough time. I’ll never get all this done.
What do I want to believe? I have plenty of time to get everything done.
If I believed that, what would I do? Take a break for dinner.
Then fuck it, let’s just do it… Me: Breaks for dinner. Brain: AAAAAHHHHHH!!
…and immediately use the action as evidence for the new belief. See? Taking 30 min off wasn’t that big of a deal! We still got everything done! We even worked more efficiently! There was more than enough time for everything!
Now here’s what’s really important: do NOT just power through the new action and expect your thoughts to change on their own.
Your automatic thoughts are habits.
And your thoughts are the lens through which you see the whole world.
So if you don’t deliberately change your thoughts, any action you take will just be more proof for your existing beliefs.
Step 5 is the most important part of this whole process. It’s not “doing the thing” that matters. It’s using the thing you did to challenge your old belief — that’s the key.
Because like we’ve talked about, guys, your brain is actually incredibly flexible.
There’s nothing your automatic brain hates more than a contradiction. If you show it a crack in its current perspective, all it wants to do is make everything make sense again.
So give your brain a new story to consider — with a strong, vivid piece of evidence to accompany it.
Deliberately show it (don’t tell it) that it’s totally wrong about something.
Because once you shake your brain up with surprising new evidence, you don’t even have to do that much else.
Once it realizes that there’s a disconnect, it will be off to the races to construct a new story, all by itself.
Part 7 ➡️
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Epilogue
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