7 Ways To Believe Something New (part 1)
So we’ve been talking about how facts are neutral, your theories about your facts create your reality, and if you want a different reality, you have to load a new theory into your brain first.
Okay, but how?
Because left on its own, your automatic brain is going to keep confirming the theory it already has.
You can use your deliberate brain to override your automatic brain’s theory hundreds of times a day. And this is actually not a bad short-term strategy! But it’s not a great long-term strategy, because every override will cost you time, attention, and effort, and you probably want to devote those to other things at some point.
The easiest way to believe something new is to teach your automatic brain to believe it. It takes a little longer than just applying overrides all day long, but it’s also much easier and more effective in the long run.
Now, your automatic brain does not learn like deliberate brain does. Your deliberate brain learns through linear, consecutive, logical steps. Think about the first time you learned how to do four-digit multiplication, or how to balance a T-account. That’s deliberate brain learning.
Your automatic brain learns through association, coherence-building, and stories with active characters. Think about the first time you saw someone who looked like you doing something you wanted to do. Your brain probably lit up with a new possibility — “Wait… I could do that too!” That’s automatic brain learning.
In this series, I’m going to talk through seven ways I taught my automatic brain to believe something new — in productivity, in dating, in weight loss, and in my business.
Let’s start with productivity.
For most of my life, I had a belief: I am a lazy and unproductive person. I cannot trust myself to get things done.
What happened to me when I believed this thought is no surprise. That thought made me feel anxious and out of control. When I felt anxious and out of control, I made overly strict systems to try to get myself under control and then rebelled against my own systems. And the net result was that I was (by my own definition) sporadic, inconsistent, and didn’t get things done. Thanks, self-fulfilling prophecy! 🙄
As we know, if you want to be productive, you have to believe first that you are a productive person. (Load the theory in first, guys!)
So I wanted to believe: I am always productive. I can trust myself.
That’s a pretty big leap for someone who believes the exact opposite — and who literally thinks that trusting herself would lead to disaster. So here’s the first thing I did:
1: Put the new theory in your mental filter and find evidence everywhere
You know how when you get a new car, and you suddenly start seeing that car everywhere? Or when you learn a new concept for the first time, and suddenly you see examples of it in everything?
You can call it confirmation bias, or priming, or the frequency illusion. The point is, whatever your automatic brain is currently paying attention to, it will filter the world through that lens and find more examples of it everywhere.
Your automatic brain doesn’t actually care which theory it’s confirming. It just wants to confirm things. It just wants to make things coherent.
So you can use the same mechanism that’s confirming your unhelpful theory right now and use it to confirm something helpful instead.
Step 1: Draw your attention to your new theory.
Sit down in the morning and write down the new belief. Really focus on it, just for a minute. Think of some specific examples that prove it true. Gin it up and really live in it — just for a minute.
As an example–
I am always productive. I can trust myself.
Yeah. I mean I got so much work done when I worked in consulting. And in every other job. I used to come in at 7:30 am and not leave till 10 pm. I used to tear through work every single day without a second off. How many times have managers given me something to do because they knew I’d be able to take care of it? Remember when they gave you someone else’s slides at 2:30 am because they knew you’d get it done? Or when they gave you a deck to fix 30 min before the meeting, and you killed it? I used to take on extra projects just because I wanted to, and I was great at them. Okay, dang. I was super productive. I knew I would get it done.
Once you’ve done this for a minute or two, let it go. You don’t need to stay in this worked-up state all day. You just need to do it once in the morning, to draw your brain’s attention to this new thinking.
Step 2: Find evidence for your theory all day long, in everything around you
Your automatic brain will take care of a lot of this for you, because you just loaded a theory into it. But you can nudge it along as well.
As an example–
Sitting in a meeting, taking notes and taking care of immediate follow-ups
Okay wait. Look at me though. I’m taking full notes, I’m contributing to the meeting, I’m firing off slack messages immediately, I’m putting follow-ups on my to do list as soon as they come up. I am like…always productive.
Listening to a podcast while eating lunch
But wait let’s just notice. I don’t have to be doing anything right now. But i decided, just like that, to use this time to listen to that podcast my friend sent me. Like I actively chose to do something productive, with no one telling me to. I can….trust….myself?? At least in this one moment, I think I made a good choice.
Going to get groceries in the middle of the day
I thought this errand would disrupt my whole day! But look at me, getting it done in less time than I thought! And also I think I was actually more efficient, getting my work done beforehand. Like i actually got it all done! There was nothing to worry about!
Look everywhere, in everything around you. The evidence you find doesn’t have to be limited to one area of your life. If I only looked for evidence while I worked, I’m not giving my brain that much to play with.
Your automatic brain loves creating coherence more than anything. It will be HAPPY to draw connections between all the different things that happen to you in a day and use them all to support the new theory. So give it lots to play with.
Step 3: Repeat
Sit down again the next morning. Write the belief again. Think up some specific examples again (now bolstered by all the evidence from yesterday). Gin it up and really live in it — just for a minute. Then let it go. And spend the day finding evidence again.
After about four or five weeks of doing this, I started to actually believe it. And by that I mean “about half the time, my brain would at least consider both theories when it was confronted with a relevant fact.” Instead of one strong interpretation popping into my head, I would get a kind of “Hmm. Well it could mean this other thing too. I guess that’s possible.”
After ten or twelve weeks, I was so convinced that this just became my reality. And today, you couldn’t make me believe the other story if you tried — I think it’s total crap.
And of course, just like my old theory, my new theory has also become its own self-fulfilling prophecy. When I think “I’m always productive. I can trust myself,” I feel confident and in control. When I feel confident and in control, I get more done than ever, because work is fun and there’s no self-critical narrative bugging me in the background. Interruptions don’t shake me. “Messing up my plan” doesn’t bother me. Because I know I’m going to get it done, no matter what. And the net result is that I get things done. So easy.
I spent more than 20 years being convinced of my old belief. I planned my whole life around this “fact.” I walked away from screenwriting because “I just knew” that I couldn’t be productive without structure. I restricted my post-consulting job search to roles with “enough external accountability” to ensure I was productive. And being a professional writer? An owner of my own business? Forget it. Just not realistic for me.
Well, guys — things become a lot easier when you stop believing things that aren’t helpful to you.
And after 20 years of being stuck in one unhelpful belief, it only took 3 months to believe something different.
I didn’t need to force myself, or argue with myself, or spend all my energy trying to be someone I’m not. If you let your automatic brain do the heavy lifting, and just point it in the direction you want to go — systematically, every day — it can literally create whatever belief you want.
And best of all? That was the hard part. Because once you believe something different, creating something different in your life is a piece of freaking cake.
Part 2 ➡️
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Epilogue
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