The ONE Thought Loop That Holds Back High-Stress High Achievers
If there is ONE thought-and-behavior loop that holds High-Stress High Achievers back, it’s this:
They get triggered to think that they are, in some way, not good enough…
“I don’t know what I’m doing.”
“I shouldn’t have done or said that.”
“I’m going to screw this up.”
“No one is going to like my idea.”
Etc. etc.
That thought puts them into a stress response…
They might…
Fight: Get defensive, argue for why they’re right, refuse to see the other side
Flight: Procrastinate, avoid, want to quit their job and run away
Freeze: Do nothing, feel paralyzed, feel stuck or confused, say “I don't know”
Fawn: Do everything someone is telling them to do, exactly as they say to do it
Frantic: Do everything they can think of as fast as possible
That stress response prevents them from effectively solving the problem in front of them…
When you’re fighting, fleeing, freezing, fawning, or being frantic…
You are NOT able to take in what’s going on with calm, cool-headed curiosity.
You DON’T have the mental bandwidth to be firm in what you believe while also being open to new ideas.
You DON’T have the internal safety and playfulness necessary for creative problem-solving.
You CAN’T get into flow and do your best work.
Their inability to effectively solve the problem in front of them confirms their belief that they’re not good enough…
“I KNEW I didn’t know what I was doing…here’s one more piece of proof.”
“I KNEW I was going to screw that up…here’s more damning evidence.”
AND… (This is the most insidious part…)
EVEN when things go well, they underplay it or consider it a fluke instead of internalizing their accomplishments and updating their beliefs about themselves.
This isn’t false modesty or insanity.
This happens because our brains are confirmation bias machines, and a brain that believes “I’m not good enough” will proactively find evidence FOR that belief and suppress or discount evidence AGAINST that belief all day long.
Your deliberate brain, which provides ~2% of your thinking, can weigh conflicting evidence and change its mind about things. But using your deliberate brain is hard.
Think about how it feels to do a tough math problem or learn how complex financial instruments work. That’s you using your deliberate brain.
Your automatic brain, which provides ~98% of your thinking…
Which is sending you a constant, unending stream of interpretations, impressions, and judgments that seem to “pop up” out of nowhere and seem “obvious” and “true”…
That guy just confirms its existing beliefs all day long.
This is why you can’t ACHIEVE your way into feeling good about yourself.
Stop chasing the next accomplishment, milestone, goal, or task to prove that you are good enough.
When you do everything while wearing your “I’m not good enough” sunglasses, that’s all you’ll see everywhere you look, no matter how many things you achieve.
If the last 10 accomplishments didn’t magically rewire your brain and change your lifelong thought habits, this next one won’t either.
If you want to feel good about yourself…
If you want the thing that you THOUGHT all the achievements were going to give you…
And if you want to do even BETTER work than you’re already doing, and work from flow and self-assurance instead of urgency and stress…
You have to rewire your brain and change your thought habits.
You have to get your automatic brain to start confirming a DIFFERENT belief.
You have to start appreciating how good you are right now.
Your brain may have made a false connection that your stress responses are HELPING you do great work.
In reality, you are doing great work IN SPITE OF them.
Let me prove it to you.
Think of the last time you really got into flow. You were firing on all cylinders. Getting things done. Coming up with brilliant solutions. And having FUN doing it.
Were you in a stress response? Were you questioning and doubting and criticizing yourself?
Or were you trusting yourself, feeling like you’ve got this, and totally absorbed in the problem with no thoughts of anything else?
THAT’S the state of mind I want to help you spend more time in.
I want you to get into the OPPOSITE loop of the one I described above.
Where you are solid in your belief that you ARE good enough and that you’ve got this…
Which puts you into your best, calmest, most creative problem-solving mode…
Which unlocks your problem-solving power and lets you effectively solve the problem in front of you…
Which confirms your belief that you’re good enough and you’ve got this…
And EVEN when things don’t go your way, you treat that as a mere tactical problem to be solved, NOT as an encroachment on your sense of self and a condemnation of your abilities.
THIS is the work we do in my course & coaching program.
I don’t care if you’ve spent decades in the old thought loop. I did too, and so did my clients.
You can change this habit. It’s no different than changing any other habit.
We’re going to break it down step by step, situation by situation, and thought by thought.
You’ll learn EXACTLY how to walk yourself out of this unhelpful thought loop…
And you’ll do it again and again until it becomes second nature.
If you want to get started next year, join the waitlist today:
From Imposter to “I Got This.”
The High-Stress High Achiever’s step-by-step guide to:
- Eliminate work stress and imposter syndrome
- Get clear + get moving on their next career step
- Create a life they love living
PS: And if you want to get started believing that you ARE good enough right now, go check out my series 7 Ways to Believe Something New (parts 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | epilogue)
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